The Daily News reports that the chairman of the Locust Valley Cemetery Association has admitted to embezzling nearly $300,000 from the cemetery. His name? Glad you asked.
It's Death. Donald Death. That's Mr. Death, to you.
The story is precious, and it makes me wish G.K. Chesterton were able to comment on it. (Of course, to do so, he'd have to have cheated Death.) My favorite part is the quote at the end from Death's attorney:
[Roth] called Death an "upstanding member of the community who has served on many boards and charities" and attributed the incident to "business pressures Mr. Death was experiencing. We anticipate a favorable conclusion."Well, I should hope so.