I am elated to report that I wrote the wood for today's paper: "FEDS WANT ALL HE'S GOTTI." (The wood is the front-page headline, so named because its oversized capital letters used to be set up with wooden type.)
My last act at my last job was shouting out a suggested wood as I headed for the door. They used it the following Sunday for the Donald's wedding: "LADY IS A TRUMP."
It's a wonderful feeling to be able to say that I have written the woods for both of Manhattan's tabloids—especially "New York's Hometown Newspaper"—within five months. Who woulda thunk it! (Well, who, except the friends, family, and readers who encouraged me between jobs.) Thank God.
I also like the fact that penning the wood's an anonymous kind of fame; I can see my words on newsstands everywhere, and yet nobody knows except my friends and you who read this entry. Newspapers rule.