New Year's Prayin' Eve

I'm keeping up the Dawn Patrol tradition of praying for readers this New Year's Eve. If you'd like a prayer, please leave your request below or e-mail me, dawn -at- dawneden.com (replacing the "-at-" with an at sign). If you don't want to give your name, you can leave an anonymous comment--just put "xxxxx" where the name and e-mail should go, and I'll pray for "the person who left the comment." Likewise, if you'd rather send an e-mail but don't want to give your name, I'll pray for "the person who sent the e-mail."

The comments section below is for prayer requests only, please. Thanks and may God bless you in the New Year.

UPDATE, 1/1/07, wee hours: Started praying individually for commenters and others who wrote in, but must break off to get sleep. Will resume this afternoon and will pray rosary for everyone's intentions as well.

UPDATE, 1/2/07, wee hours: Finished praying individually for everyone who requested prayer (including those who sent e-mails). Still intend to say rosary for everyone's intentions as well — hopefully today.

Chaste into a bar

A friend made me this online flyer (inspired by one for an evolution debate) for my upcoming friendly debate with Virginia Vitzthum. Please come! Sponsored by those wacky libertarian urban explorers of the Jinx Athenaeum Society.
UPDATE: As a commenter noted, this flyer neglects the time of the event. it starts at 8 p.m.

Tune in today ...

... at 2:15 p.m. Eastern, when I'll be interviewed on the Drew Marshall Show, broadcasting out of Canada — follow that link to listen online. Methinks Mr. Marshall is planning to quiz me on my rock-historian past; should be interesting.

UPDATE: Had a lot of fun on Drew's show. What a great interviewer he is, and so witty. He archives his shows on his Web site; I'll post a link when mine is up.

'Dog-earedly good!'

"There is a lot of great information contained in this book, and many inspiring reflections, drawing from time to time from C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, John Paul II, Mother Theresa, Peter Kreeft, Christopher West, and others. No matter what your vocation is, you could gain a unique insight into popular culture and practical advice for living in it by reading this book. Instead of taking a theological, philosophical, or sociological approach, Dawn Eden combines many approaches to chastity and sexuality, using personal experience and her faith as a compass, to write a book that is much-needed today. ...

"... I typically judge a non-fictional book by how many dog-eared pages there are after I finish reading it (if the page is dog-eared, that means I found something intriguing on it). This book definitely scores high in that regard: 26 of 207 pages had folded-down corners!" [Full review]

— Jeff Geerling, seminarian and Matthew 12:37 blogger, from his review of The Thrill of the Chaste. His review includes photographic proof of his dog-eared book.

Little Miss Marker

On a tip from a friend who had seen my book in the store, I popped into the Borders next to Penn Station. Sure enough, it was there, Shelf C3 — "Christianity: Practical Life." (That's where they file the recovery memoirs, appropriately enough.)

I couldn't resist doing something a bit naughty. Pulling a purple Sharpie out of my purse, I autographed the title page — adding "thrillofthechaste.com" in case anyone wants to track me down and ask if I really was the culprit who signed the book.

It felt vaguely criminal to "deface" a book, but hopefully my signature will be a pleasant surprise to whoever buys it. I remember, when I was in high school, feeling a thrill as I discovered that the title page of my local library's copy of The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: From A to B and Back Again was signed in black marker with a familiar "AW."

In other Thrill-related developments:

• Got an unexpected endorsement from best-selling dating author Steve Nakamoto (Dating Rocks!, Men Are Like Fish, who included my book on his Amazon list "Buy a Unique Relationship Book for the New Year!" Mr. Nakamoto is also the dating expert for iVillage.com's "Ask Mr. Answer Man."


• My appearance on Msgr. Jim Lisante's "Personally Speaking" is available for online listening (follow that link to Program 54). The Monsignor has quite the gift for reading hearts.

Dead reckoning

A Guest Post By Kevin Walsh

[Kevin sent this to me just before the news of the execution. I thought his message remained relevant, so it appears here with permission. — Dawn]

I would have rather Saddam be kept alive so they could find out what made him be a mass murderer. Same way I oppose the death penalty in all cases. I want to get inside these guys' heads. Is it an enzyme? A bad chromosome? Mommy problems? They strung up Saddam and we'll never know what set him off. Hitler shot himself and we'll never know.

I have a question for all these killers, the Janjaweed, the Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq. WHY. Why do you kill. Berkowitz is still alive. How come the psychologists haven't been testing him all along? When Arafat was alive why didn't they ask him? When Gotti was alive, why didn't they ask him?

The answers would probably be ultimately empty, and that's the most horrifying thing of all.

"Because this is what men do," they would probably say.

Buckley's bloody 'pleasure'

William F. Buckley Jr. rhapsodizes about the "undeniable" pleasure he will receive upon "the death of Saddam by rope's end."

Give me a break.

Saddam's reign of terror ended over three years ago. His execution is a postscript to volumes of tragedy. While one may appreciate the fact that justice is served and imagine hopefully that the world's remaining despots are on notice, there is really no cause for the jubilant "pleasure" Buckley describes.

I'm willing to believe that Saddam's execution is one of those "cases of absolute necessity" that John Paul the Great admits in Evangelium Vitae, "when it would not be possible otherwise to defend society." But the idea that the execution is anything better than the tragically necessary killing of a man who caused immeasurable violence and repression is repugnant and unworthy of conservatism's elder statesman.

Woman of distinctions

"Based on her life experiences and her faith, the Jewish-born Christian provides motivational and spiritual messages to counter the ones put out by society. She considers the true meaning of sex, how to deal with temptation, and why shared values in relationships matter. She also provides guidance on how to heal from past relationships in order to make a new start. Throughout the book, she addresses distinctions between choosing to be abstinent and choosing to be chaste."

— The National Clearinghouse for Families & Youth's Abstinence Education E-Update gives the thumbs-up to The Thrill of the Chaste.

Innocents mission

"In conclusion, I shall but remind you of the difference, on the other hand, between the state of a child and that of a matured Christian; though this difference is almost too obvious to be noticed. St. John says, "He that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous;" and again, "Every one that doeth righteousness is born of Him." [1 John iii. 7; ii. 29.]

"Now, it is plain a child's innocence has no share in this higher blessedness. He is but a type of what is at length to be fulfilled in him. The chief beauty of his mind is on its mere surface; and when, as time goes on, he attempts to act (as is his duty to do), instantly it disappears. It is only while he is still, that he is like a tranquil water, reflecting heaven. Therefore, we must not lament that our youthful days are gone, or sigh over the remembrances of pure pleasures and contemplations which we cannot recall; rather, what we were when children, is a blessed intimation, given for our comfort, of what God will make us, if we surrender our hearts to the guidance of His Holy Spirit,—a prophecy of good to come,—a foretaste of what will be fulfilled in heaven. And thus it is that a child is a pledge of immortality; for he bears upon him in figure those high and eternal excellences in which the joy of heaven consists, and which would not be thus shadowed forth by the All-gracious Creator, were they not one day to be realized. Accordingly, our Church, for the Epistle for this Festival, selects St. John's description of the Saints in glory."

— John Henry Cardinal Newman, from his sermon on the feast day of Holy Innocents. The Curt Jester has more excerpts within a timely entry on the feast.

My public-radio debut [updated with audio]

This morning, I did an hourlong phoner with the "Joy Cardin Show" on Wisconsin Public Radio — my first time on an NPR affiliate — to promote my book. You can hear it for yourself in Real Audio.

Because of NPR's (and Madison, Wis.'s) reputation for liberalism, I had actually had a nightmare about doing the show, fearing it would be a one-hour version of the more antagonistic interviews I've endured. Instead, I was very pleasantly surprised. Ms. Cardin was the perfect host, and the callers were overwhelmingly supportive. Several of them remarked how refreshing it was to hear chastity discussed on the radio.

One female caller with a gentle, saintly voice said that she and her husband waited to have sex until they were married, when she was in her late 20s. They've now been together for 33 years and "it keeps getting better," she said with tangible joy. I had to restrain myself from asking her to pray for me!

Buy my book The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On at Amazon.com.

Alphabet scoop

While I work on a more substantial post for late tonight, now's as good a time as any to revisit the "Lexicon for Young Adult Catholic Acronyms." As American Papist notes, "These are sometimes disturbingly accurate":

ACART --- Accepts Church And Republican Teachings (M, F)

CHIM --- Catholic Hyper-Intellectual Male (M)

CISTO --- Catholic In Skimpy Tight Outfit (hopefully F)

CLOWSIC ---- Cosmo Lifestyle On Weekdays, Sundays In Church (F)

COGISFAW --- Catholic Old Guy, Is Searching For Adolescent Wife (M)

CONOPE --- Catholic, Orthodox, No Other Personality Evident (M, F)

FOCID --- Flirts Outrageously, Chastity In Doubt (M, F)

FOYIC --- Flirts Outrageously, Yet Is Chaste (M, F)

MAWBAN / MAWBAP --- Might As Well Be A Nun / Priest (F, M)

OSCAR ---- Overly Sexual Catholic, Advise Restraint (M, F)

SOFTNOS --- Shares Our Faith Though Not Our Sanity (M, F)

SOTVEM --- Seen Once Then Vanishes Ever-More (mostly F)

WOVUOS --- Woman Of Virtue, Underwear Of Sin (F)

[Full list at American Papist.]

Any additions?

May the farce be with you

Fallen Sparrow tipped me off to this video, one of the most popular on YouTube, about Darth's unfortunate younger brother — "Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager" (note: contains rude language and a blasphemy):

Flanders keepers

Found on YouTube: a video of Belgian Green Day wannabes Nailpin doing an impressive take on the Kirsty McColl classic "They Don't Know." Power pop lives!



In a nice touch, they chose to do it in the same key as Tracy Ullman's hit version — compare the two yourself:

Quote of the day

"[T]he true Pottersville is right off the coast of Florida. This might be the year where Cuba is blessed with a Christmas without Fidel Castro. The dictator banned Christmas back in 1969. He didn’t let Cubans celebrate the holiday again until 1998. Many religious leaders wrongly praised Castro for this empty gesture. The problem is that the dictator only allows a religious holiday for people to pray and feast (which probably means an extra lima bean). But any good Christian prays all the time — especially in Cuba.

"Castro allowed Christmas, but he continued to ban Santa Claus. There's no giving of gifts. There are no little kids getting excited about the holiday. Castro understood a simple truth. He knew that Santa Claus is more dangerous than Jesus."

— J.R. Taylor, from "Capitalism is Wonderful" in Right Wing Trash

Matthew

A Guest Post By Drusilla

[I saw the following post on Drusilla's blog, Heirs in Hope, and thought it would make a good Christmas Eve/Christmas Day post. It's reprinted here with permission. Merry Christmas to you and thanks for reading my blog — Dawn]

Matthew died half an hour before I met him. As we entered the hospice, a nurse met Sr. Josephine and me and asked that we go and pray over his body. I do not like dead bodies but I felt the familiar intense tingling that told me this was important so I followed the sister to the small back room where he lay.

As we walked along, the nurse told us a little about him. Drugs had ruled most of Matthew's brief life; he was about thirty. Just before Halloween, he had taken an overdose; no one knew if it was accidental. Matthew had been in a coma for about a month. His brain still functioned but medical science knew no way to wake him. His older brother had died of AIDS in this same hospice a year earlier and when the doctors determined that death was certain, Matthew’s family had arranged for their younger son to die also in this familiar place. Half an hour after his arrival, while the nurses were still settling him, Matthew died.

The nurse opened the door and we breathed in sweetness. A clear, high, just within range of hearing chorus filled the room with a song of joy. Peace welcomed us into its richness. Heaven was rejoicing here in this room, invited us to add our voices to its song.

“Can you hear it?” I asked Sr. Josephine. “Yes,” she replied as she opened her prayer book to the prayers for the dead. I followed suit and our prayers joined the song:

“Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Matthew. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive him into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.” (from the Book of Common Prayer)*

Whatever dissipations he had indulged in, whatever sufferings and torments he and life had heaped upon his soul, something had happened to Matthew while he lay in coma. I believe some cleansing, some healing, some radical change had come into the young man whose body lay on the bed. And now, in this place that should have been so terribly sad, heaven sang Alleluia.

This was almost too rich for human presence. I was nearly exhausted with wonder and was glad when we fell into silence. It was very good to be here but I could not stay very long. The experience was too big. Actually, I was too little. I wanted to leap into a grande jetes. I wanted to sit quietly and let it encompass me. Sr. Josephine sent me out of the room; tears began to flow as soon as I closed the door.

The operation of heaven in this young man’s life, its condescension were overwhelming. I wondered if Matthew had been like a broken limb that must be immobilized in order to heal. I wondered that God would do it, would immobilize this little lost sheep who must have been filled with terror, unable to seek healing without enormous help. I believed that God would do anything to find us, knew that heaven rejoices when we are found, but I had never seen it like this before.

The risk that heaven took was heart breaking. What if even a coma had not been enough? What if the suffering he had undergone during these past weeks had not led to this?

Yet now heaven sang Alleluia. What should have been an occasion of great sadness was a time of immense gratitude and joy.


* I was a member of the Anglican Communion at the time and was discerning whether I had a vocation. Though the community was mostly contemplative and becoming more and more so, the hospice was their one external ministry.

Going ... Going ... Dawn

"Joy and peace run between the lines on every page. So do hip, sassy, straight-forward, and no holds barred. She speaks a message that is clear, honest and secure in herself, and one that will resonate, I think, with anyone (i.e. nearly everyone) who has ever felt that pang of loneliness and emptiness that comes from sexual encounters that are aimed at self-gratification instead of spiritual, emotional and mutual enrichment."

— From Robert N. Going's review of The Thrill of the Chaste on his blog, The Judge Report.

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste on Amazon.com.

I want to hold your hand over my eyes

[UPDATE, 12/28/06: Welcome, Corner readers! When you're done enjoying the video, check out the interview K-Lo did with me to promote my book, The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On.]

Every so often, a video clip comes along that reminds me just how awful Seventies pop culture was — especially what passed for "rock" television.

This is one of those clips.

It's the Beatles tribute from Rolling Stone's 10th-anniversary special. According to IMDB, the writers to blame are none other than Steve Martin ( the Steve Martin) and "Classical Gas" author Mason Williams. Williams at least should have known better.

The clip is 15 minutes long — that's 15 minutes you will never get back — and includes a strobe effect several minutes into it, just in case you haven't had a seizure by then. Performers include Richie Havens and Patti LaBelle, as well as Ted Neely of "Jesus Christ Superstar."

Enjoy the dancing strawberries ...

Take a Rook

My beloved old friend and long-ago landlord Michael Mazzarella of the Rooks may finally be seen on YouTube with this video of "Nightfall," from his live-in-the-studio DVD Only Hope for Winter. While I prefer his more uptempo numbers (like the gorgeous "Glitterbest," which may be heard on the Rooks' MySpace page, this song shows Michael's ability to capture the darkly romantic, atmospheric vibe present in early Todd Rundgren and Harry Nilsson.

'A sacrifice hidden and silent'

[The following story of mine originally appeared in the November 2006 issue of Catholic World Report. Bits of it will be familiar to regular readers of this blog, but most of it is new. — Dawn]


The most immediate effect of writing a book on chastity for marriage-minded single women, as I have done, is that you lose your amateur standing. You can no longer merely be on the winning side of the battle against sexual temptation. Instead, you become a professional, expected to answer questions on “how far is too far,” and an easy target for variations on Oscar Levant’s legendary epigram, “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”

It took a never-married friend who read an advance copy of my book, The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On, to remind me that chastity is, for some women, not just a lifestyle, but life. The friend, who is in her late 40s, told me she was glad I mentioned the prospect that the reader might never get married.

She was being generous. The book mentions the possibility of a lifetime as a chaste single woman only in passing. At the time that I wrote it, I didn't know how to expand upon the prospect of lifetime singlehood without making it sound like a death sentence.

It wasn't until the book was at the publisher — and after reporter Nadine O'Regan of the Irish Times asked me point-blank how it felt to realize that I might never meet the right one — that I began to articulate the sentiments that had been forming in the back of my mind.

"Experience has shown me that I'm not getting more unhappy. I'm getting happier," I said. "So, as depressing as it may be to think of another five years, or a lifetime, of not being married, the depression is only in me in the fear. Actually living out a chaste lifestyle indefinitely is not sad. I'm accomplishing so much with my life that I didn't think I'd be able to accomplish."

G.K. Chesterton writes in his Autobiography that, according to the Penny Catechism he read before entering the Church, "[t]he two sins against Hope are presumption and despair." We don't usually think of hope as something that can be sinned against. But it is a virtue, and presumption and despair are its corresponding vices. More than that, it is, along with faith and charity, one of the three theological virtues, meaning that it is directed towards God.

A person living chastely while longing to be married is living in hope. I believe that such hope is virtuous because it is directed towards a virtuous goal — and that goal is not centered upon wedding vows.

Here I run up against the difficulties of the language we use when describing the single life. I don't believe that one desiring marriage should merely "stop looking," as advice columnists would have it, nor that one should "cultivate other interests" or "just be the best person you can be."

Back in 1989, singer/songwriter Lucinda Williams, with her catchy tune “Passionate Kisses” encapsulated the mentality of that “Greed Decade” and beyond: "Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this ... Give me what I deserve, 'cause it's my right." In our consumer culture, we are immersed in the entitlement mentality, so much so that denying one’s own wants is seen as equivalent to denying one’s own rights. Well, call me radical, call me crazy, but it's becoming increasingly apparent — especially as I spend time with religious faithful and with people who do charitable work — that what I imagine are the most important things for me to accomplish in life are not necessarily those that God considers most important.

What seems like an eternity for us here on Earth is less than the blink of an eye in Heaven. Moreover, there are no marriages in Heaven. In Heaven, we will find our spiritual children — those whom we have helped come to the faith — which, for a single person, could well exceed the number of children of a married one. (Isaiah 54:1: “Sing, O barren ... for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.”)

The hope in which I strive to live, then, is that Jesus, through Mary, will enable the graces He has given me through the gift of conversion to come to full flower. This is the "hope [that] maketh not ashamed," as Paul writes in Romans 5, "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

Make no mistake about it, I want to be married and experience the love and companionship of a husband on every level — physical, emotional, and spiritual. And, sure, I think about it a lot. But when I think about the short time we have on Earth, I feel the need to focus on discerning God's will for my life from day to day. It's a will that requires me to become more loving to everyone — as opposed to becoming more attractive to that special someone out there.

As a late convert to chastity, I sometimes have a hard time explaining my vocation to people — and not just to those who think it’s bizarre to forgo premarital sex. There are Catholics of traditional upbringing who look at me as if they’d never met a 38-year-old woman who wasn’t either a mother or a nun. When I wrote on my blog about the response I gave to the Irish Times reporter, a male reader commented, “[T]hough there might be something to be said for ‘easing’ into the idea of a lifetime of singleness, at some point, I think that making an affirmative commitment to single lay celibacy would give that life the same focus and purpose that men and women living holy orders or marriage enjoy.”

I believe that a small but significant number of people share that reader’s perspective, in that they are uncomfortable with the idea of uncertainty. They can’t imagine themselves leading a chaste single life for an extended period of time, and so they feel uneasy at the idea that someone would choose a life lacking the “focus and purpose” of celibacy vows. To them, the idea of an unmarried person’s attempting to live chastely without consecrating their choice before God is the equivalent of a couple’s shacking up rather than making their union official. I feel as though they think I’m just playing at chastity.

When it comes to faith, God recognizes no mushy middle. On the one hand, the Bible is filled with exhortations to take a stand, perhaps most eloquently in Revelation 3, when Jesus tells the Laodicean church to be cold or hot — but not lukewarm. But on the other, the Bible makes clear that our life on Earth is an ongoing study in reconciliation. “I have been a stranger in a strange land,” said Moses, and God’s people have always been strangers among the worldly. The Lord wants us to rely solely upon Him for direction, as David writes in the 25th Psalm: “Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net.”

In other words, as I see it, we are supposed to be absolutely certain of where we stand — but not so sure about where we’re going.

Through Jesus’ reconciling the world to himself, Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5, we as Christians are given the “ministry of reconciliation.” This ministry is intended to be ongoing. It does not end when one lives under vows, regardless of the sense of closure such vows may provide.

A friend of mine, while training me to volunteer at a charity that helped homebound senior citizens, warned me not to assume that a healthy-looking client was able to take good care of himself. “Not all disabilities are visible,” she said.

In the same way, not all abilities are visible. It is impossible to tell from observing someone’s life what spiritual graces that person has received. "The world admires only spectacular sacrifice," wrote St. Josemaria Escriva, "because it does not realize the value of sacrifice that is hidden and silent."

Compared to those who are married or live in a monastery, a chaste single person may seem to lack a sense of being grounded or having a spiritual home. In truth, they may have a home within the home of this world — a spiritual place where they maintain deeply rooted faith even under shifting and unpredictable external circumstances. “For in the time of trouble, he shall hide me in his pavilion,” sang David in Psalm 27.

If I live my entire life waiting in hope of marriage, I can’t imagine how that could be a tragedy — as long as, while I wait, my eyes are not on a fantasy of my future husband, but on Jesus.

The only way to truly discover one’s vocation is to act on it, as one understands it, in the present moment — to step out in faith.

St. Maximilian Kolbe wrote, “If you have the will to love, you already give proof that you love. What counts is the will to love.” In living day-to-day in the vocation of single, unvowed chastity, I am relying upon God to take my will — to grow in love of Him and my fellow human beings — and put it into action. In making that my goal, I have hope that, whatever my vocation proves to be, Our Lady of Grace will grant me the grace to, as St. Maximilian Kolbe put it, “love without limits.”

Saved by the bell

Tucked away in the comments to a recent post, I found reader Uncle Jim's beautiful "tale of unlikely conversion." He writes:

i just came home from 'ringing bells' at a salvation army outdoor kettle this evening in front of a large super-market ... weather: cold and wet and dreary.

only to stress the magnitude of what happened, i'll share that this is the 22nd consecutive year that i've been doing this pre-Christmas activity for the week or two before Christmas.

very typically, i'd guess that 50% of the people who pass by me on their way into or out of this super-market do not look at me as they pass by ... even with a greeting from me as they enter and a "Goodnight and Merry Christmas" to them as they depart.

a woman and her 8 - 10 yr old daughter approached ... i greeted them ... the mother scooted right on by and didn't give a look ... the daughter stopped just after passing, turned around and came back to the kettle ... the mother turned around and asked 'what are you doing?' ... the daughter did not look at her mother or respond, but reached in her coat and pulled out a small change-purse ... she opened it and dumped some small change into her hand ... she counted it and held it up and asked: 'i have 26 cents... is this enough to buy a toy for some kid? response: 'it certainly is!!'

she started to put the change in the kettle as the mother came back over to the kettle ... the little girl told her that she just helped to buy a toy for some kid - the mother started to cry...reached into her own purse and took out some paper money - i don't know the total but i saw a $5 and some $1 bills - and she put them in the kettle.

i thanked them both - wished them a merry christmas and watched them walk into the store hand-in-hand.

the little girl converted her mother's hard heart right before my eyes. best one i recall in my 22 years of ringing.

i think c s [Lewis] would be proud - i was.

Zawahiri Christmas Greeting

Brilliant, surprisingly moving satire from Scott Ott (via The Judge Report):

Handel with care

In a new article on National Review Online, several writers are quizzed on their favorite (or least favorite) Christmas music; I'm one of them.

So which tunes are my favorites? Here's a hint — though it's not really a tune:

"The Missus always fixes a plate of relish with them little carrot sticks. You know, olives, pickles, scallions. Most people call them green onions, but they're really scallions. Did you ever notice that Joe?"

Barack on the wild side

From Saint Kansas (aka DJ Shatterglass), the singer of "Chastity Rome-Chick Blues," comes this carol for another Christmas:. He calls it "'The Little Drummer Boy,' rewritten for Our Saviour, the senator from Illinois."

Not for women only

"This is as brutally honest a book as you are ever likely to read. But Ms Eden is a wonderful writer, this book's not very long and you can probably polish it off in a day or so. But take your time. There's a lot to think about on these pages. ...

"Is the book heavy on religion? Yes. And that's kind of the point since the theme of this book is that the world's way wasn't working for Dawn Eden. Is the book mainly aimed at younger women? Yes, but men should read it too. In fact, any single person who thinks that relationships can and should be infinitely greater than a Sex in the City episode can find much here to challenge and inspire them."

— From Webster Groves (Mo.) Public Library's review of The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On

Where the action is

Good morning! The blog action today is on my AmazonConnect blog; go to the Amazon page for The Thrill of the Chaste and scroll down to the latest blog entry, "God is a matchmaker."

Power pop to the people

Here's one more clip from the one and only time I sang live with a rock band, when I fronted the Anderson Council at Maxwell's in August 2002. It's from the period I mention in my book when the chastity message was struggling unsuccessfully to make it from my brain to my heart. My skirts are a bit longer these days.



The backup singer in shorts is none other than Chris Butler of the Waitresses, whose "Christmas Wrapping" is all over the airwaves during this Advent season. He wrote the song I'm singing, "Sure Wish That He Wasn't Here," which he originally recorded with his studio group Kilopop!

After I left the stage, I went outside and burst into tears, convinced that I had made an utter fool of myself because my singing was so off-key. It wasn't until I watched the video that that I felt better about my performance, if not my voice.

David Zucker on the Iraq Study Group

'God uses even our poor choices'

"You’d have to be from another planet (not Mars or Venus) to be unaffected by Cosmo sexual mores. You bump into them everywhere you turn. And believers have not done a very good job of countering the propaganda. Where Sex and the City promises recreational intercourse with pretty people, Christians have too often offered only platitudes, judgmentalism, or compromise. As a result, our son and daughters (and husbands and wives) have been drawn into the same dead-end back alleys where unbelievers meet their unfortunate ends.

"That’s why I was so delighted to read, over the weekend, The Thrill of the Chaste, a new book by Dawn Eden, a thirtysomething single whose frustration with “sex à la New York City” finally brought her to a point of accepting Christ and making him lord of her life, including her sexuality. Rather than buying into the 'born-again virgin' mindset, however, she recognized that God uses even our poor choices to prepare us for the ministry he created us to have."

— Author, reporter (Baptist Press), and blogger Mark Kelly, from his review of my book

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste on Amazon.com.

Quote of the day

“Out of all the centuries … we have never been able to invent a single pleasure. They’re all God’s. All we can do is encourage someone to take it at the wrong time, at the wrong place, and the wrong degree to pervert what God has created good.”

- Screwtape in C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters

Canon fodder

One for all you musicians out there, via my friend Kit-Kat Tamariz — Rob Paravonian's "Pachelbel Rant":

Curtain call

Spotted on the front door of Blessed Sacrament Church, Alexandria, Va., Wednesday night:




* * *

Back from tour — hope to write more later tonight.

Goodwill of the chaste

(Yes, I am scraping the bottom of the barrel for rhymes ...)

A quick note from the road: The tour is going wonderfully and I am having the time of my life. One of my favorite things about giving talks and signings is getting to meet Dawn Patrol readers and other blogger pals. So far, I've had the great pleasure of meeting Bender, Kristine Steakley, Mario Mirarchi, Chug Roberts, Pia de Solenni, and many others. I even received some presents: A reader named Jeff answered my call (on thrillofthechaste.com) for songs about chastity by giving me a copy of the lyrics to a beautiful T-Bone Burnett song that epitomizes marital love (I'll print them when I get back; can any readers guess which song it was?), and another reader, Alan, gave me a copy of a book I'd mentioned I wanted to read: Pope John Paul II's Sign of Contradiction.

I also had the pleasure of riding the Metro with Peregrinator of Canterbury Tales, who I see is now telling the world about the experience. It turns out he is friends with not only my friend Matthew Alderman of Holy Whapping but also Vincent Uher, who, like Peregrinator, is an Anglican priest who converted to Catholicism, and who happens to have been a childhood friend of my sister's. I remember seeing Vincent around when I was a little kid growing up Jewish in Galveston, Texas — now we're both in the same church, with mutual friends. That is one of the things I love about the Communion of Saints: It is so huge, and yet it can seem as intimate as a family.

If you're in the Baltimore area, please come see me give a talk and signing tomorrow (Saturday) at 4:30 p.m. at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen, which, contrary to what I wrote previously, is not specifically for a young-adult group; it's open to all.

Seconding my emotion

"As a defense of Christian chastity, it pulls no punches. For the sake of discussion on issues of sex, Christians have been at a disadvantage for decades against the free sex crowd. For instance, certain feminists like to brag that we can 'finally have a discussion about the female orgasm.' Christians aren’t beyond such discussions, they simply believe that those discussions take place between husband and wife and see no need to air the conjugal laundry in public.

"That said, by not discussing sex in open yet modest terms, Christian sexual ethics have become quickly discarded and not part of the debate. Arguments like 'because God say so' don’t work in a room full of adults. Dawn, by bringing in personal detail, not only displays great courage but provides powerful refutation to cherished sexual notions that do far more harm to women than they have ever done good. Sex and the City feminism has made it all but impossible for men and women to relate to each other as people. Women enter the 'dating world' without the tools to have a relationship . . . aside from the one in the bedroom. There is a lot of talk and dating advice about people as 'sexual beings' as if that was the only aspect of their humanity.

"If Christianity ever expects to win people over to a Christian sexual ethic, it must answer in no unclear terms without being pornographic. Many have responded to this balancing act by simply avoiding the debate altogether. The result is many more women and men who have been harmed because they simply know no different.

"The central point of the book is vulnerability. In order to have any real relationship, one must be vulnerable to hurt. In a society that values feelgoodism, this idea is anathema. However, by not only advocating vulnerability but demonstrating it in the book, she displays not only great courage but great integrity. Advocating what you yourself would not do is hypocrisy. Many of the children dressed up in adult's skin in today's world likely giggled at the more personal details of the book, but likely many more will be won over by Dawn's candor."

— John Bambenek, reviewing The Thrill of the Chaste on Blogger News Network

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste on Amazon.com.

* * *

Still on the road making appearances and away from a steady Internet connection; will catch up on blogging and e-mail at the start of next week.

Christmas greetings to you

No irony (OK, just a tad, but I know Ledasmom has a sense of humor), no baby pics, just me. This is for all of you — my apologies to the many regular commenters I inadvertently omitted:



Taking a break from blogging now to go on tour — see a few posts down.

Crush on the chaste?

"Ultimately, 'The Thrill of the Chaste,' which is billed as a 'sexual revolution,' isn’t really about sex at all. It’s about letting go, getting faith and following God. ... Hopefully, Eden’s message will make it beyond preaching to the choir. Already, Radar reporter Peter Hyman has flirted with Eden in type (and personally offered to help break her vow of chastity). The New York Times, lo and behold, covered the book in a balanced, if tepid, review. Even the merciless gossip Web site Gawker, which has christened Eden 'everyone’s second-favorite scary conservative Catholic after Mel Gibson,' just can’t seem to stop posting about her.

"Eden’s sense of humor shines through in her writing, so perhaps they’re developing a bit of a crush — or, as Eden might put it, maybe they’re already thrilled by the chaste."

— Heather Wilhelm, reviewing The Thrill of the Chaste in the Washington, D.C., Examiner.

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On from Amazon.com.

McCullough and me

If you missed my interview with Kevin McCullough yesterday on WMCA, you can tune in online. Many thanks to Kevin for hosting me.

Chastity Beltway

Things will be quiet on this blog for the next few days, because the action will be in the D.C. area, where I'm making a whirlwind tour: five gigs in four days! I look forward to meeting Dawn Patrol readers at these dates; a few have written already to say they'll be there. Here's my itinerary:

December 13

Talk and signing for young-adult group: Blessed Sacrament Church, Alexandria, Va., following the 7 p.m. Mass.

December 14

Talk and signing: Catholic Information Center, Washington, D.C., 6-7 p.m.

Talk for young-adult group: St. Stephen Martyr Church, Washington, D.C., 7:30 p.m.

December 15

Reading and signing: Borders Books and Music, 8027 Leesburg Pike, Suite 100, Vienna, Va. 7:30 p.m. (703) 556-7766.

December 16

Talk and signing for young adult-group: Cathedral of Mary Our Queen, Baltimore, Md., 4:30 p.m.

* * *
Keep an eye on the Appearances section of thrillofthechaste.com to learn if I'm coming to your latitude and longitude.

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On from Amazon.com.

Almost-fabulous '40'

I still haven't seen this movie, because I can't abide slapstick, but Frederica Mathewes-Green makes it sound intriguing.

Thanks to Orthodixie for the tip.

Caught in Crosswalk

Many thanks to Crosswalk for excerpting my book today, from the chapter on the theology of the body.

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste on Amazon.com.

WMCA Good Girl

[Reposted to coincide with my rescheduled interview:]

Today, from 3-4 p.m. Eastern, I'm scheduled to be a guest on Kevin McCullough's show on WMCA, home of the Good Guys. You can listen live, or check in with the station's Web site a bit later for the podcast. Kevin is a TownHall columnist and fellow first-time author; his Musclehead Revolution came out in August.

As I say in the acknowledgments to my book, without Kevin there would be no Thrill of the Chaste. It was because of his on-air request to bloggers three years ago, asking them to call attention to the protest against the smutty Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue, that I got serious for the first time about covering values issues. Until then, I had been afraid to write about things outside my daily life and my pop-cultural interests. Kevin inspired me and gave me vital support as I found my footing writing about deeper topics.

Living on the air in Cincinnati

Listen to my interview from this morning on Mike McConnell's show. McConnell is on WLW in Cincinnati and syndicated, including on XM Satellite Radio.

Peace on Earth to Womyn of Good Will

[Removed by popular demand. I'm keeping this entry up 'til morning to show my response to complainants. I hope to have a new, bona fide unironic video up shortly.]

'The pregnancy is not the problem'

In her op-ed "Pro-Life Position on Abortion Doesn't Mean Opposing Women", Canadian writer Andrea Mrozek uses an example from her country's health-agency rules to demonstrate the misplaced priorities of the pro-choice agenda:

We regulate any number of procedures without claiming that those regulations limit human rights. Who would claim, for example, that telling a woman she can't have an abortion while under the influence of drugs is an infringement of her rights? This is the rule when an addict, 18 weeks pregnant, requests an abortion.

Women must be clean for a number of hours before the abortion. In a case in British Columbia, a woman was not able to keep clean for the requisite hours, the abortion was denied and the baby was born. The irony is had she been able to keep clean the addicted baby would have died in the womb. How would this abortion serve this woman's rights? How does the absence of one detract from them?

This is but one example of how abortion turns a blind eye to the real problems women face. In so many cases, the pregnancy is not the problem. [Read the whole thing.]

Force of nature

In this low-tech clip, Brill Building songwriter and former Apple recording artist Brute Force explains the theology of the body for you (well, part of it) at my book-release party (song begins at 1:37, following a few words from me and Brute):



Two thoughts:

• I can't get the song's chorus out of my head. ("Oh, Eggy!)
  
• I'm still marveling at how Brute's voice and performance talents remain at the level that they were when he made his 1967 comedy classic Confections of Love.

Ho-ho-Hoboken

Yet another early Christmas present has arrived, this one an excellent article in my former hometown paper, the Hoboken Reporter. (This is the story I linked to earlier that had a typo; it's been fixed.)

Dawn in the Galley

Ron Hogan, an editor of Mediabistro's book blog GalleyCat, scoops the Dawn Patrol with the first photo from my book party last Friday night at Dempsey's Pub in the East Village. He gets extra points for calling me an evangelical Catholic and, when mentioning the writers' group Gegrapha, referencing John 19:22.

Many thanks to Ron for noting, "Though the fact that she was a blogger before she was a published author has inspired some recent media attention, like Liesl Schillinger's review in yesterday's NYT Styles section, it's worth noting that the book isn't just a repackaged blog, but a all-new argument for premarital chastity informed by her own experiences."

And yes, my friend Brute Force, the songwriter and former Apple Records artist who was a member of the Tokens during the mid-1960s, really did perform a song called "Eggy and Sperman." And it was perfectly in tune with marital chastity, which after all does include sex. Trust me.

Watch this space for more party pics. Also, I just discovered that The Politicker's Azi Paybarah snapped a photo of the sign for my NYC Borders signing—thanks, Azi!

Play with fire

My friend Jim Friedland alerted me to Disney's take on Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Match Girl," from the never-completed "Fantasia 2006." Prepare to cry.

Chastening thoughts (book tour edition)

From the filmmaker who brought you "Chastening Thoughts" comes the first documentary entry in the series: a brief segment of the Q&A from my appearance last Thursday at Borders on Second Avenue and 32nd Street in Manhattan.

At the end of the clip is a special treat: an excerpt of a video of me at age 17. Next to me is DJ Rodney Bingenheimer, whom I was squiring around the East Village; for details on what that was like, see my review of the film "Mayor of the Sunset Strip."

Times two

Turns out today's Times is a veritable Communion of Saints when it comes to blogger pals with books. Not only is my book reviewed, there's also a glowing recommendation of my friend Kevin Walsh's Forgotten New York, which grew out of his Web site.

Beautiful new flower in Pansy's garden

Congratulations, Pansy!

Thanks to L. for the heads-up.

A widow's view

"Ever since I heard [Dawn] was writing a book on the subject of chastity, I knew it would be something I would want to read and write about here. For chastity is the lifestyle I have chosen (with some difficulty) since the death of my husband five years ago."

— Aunt Judie (no relation to me), one of the bloggers who inspired me when I started writing about faith on the Dawn Patrol, reviews The Thrill of the Chaste. It's a beautiful review; I'm very thankful that Judie was touched by the book.

The Times, they are a-Chaste-ing

"What is 'a furtive fumble with a handsome hedonist' against the promise of marriage and salvation, Ms. Eden asks. The chaste life is 'more hope-filled, more vibrant, more real,' than the 'superficial and libidinous' gallivanting of the 'Sex and the City'-style single girl, she promises.

"But how can she be sure that the 'forever kind of love' exists, when she has yet to find her heaven-sent soul mate? 'I imagine it this way: God is preparing a beautiful, romantic candlelight dinner for my future husband and me,' she explains, adding, 'It is taking Him an awfully long time.'

"Ms. Eden confesses she was not always so demure. But after seeing the light in 1999, she began to regard her youthful loss of virginity as a 'blip on the continuum of my sexual degradation' and embarked upon a path of chastity and modesty. There has been slippage, but she has toed the line in the last couple years, overlooking the practical concern that while you can have a relationship with God, you can’t have dinner with him on a Friday at Little Giant."

— Liesl Schillinger reviews The Thrill of the Chaste in the Sunday Styles section of tomorrow's New York Times. Buy my book at Amazon.com.

I cannot believe that my first book has gotten a review in the Times— let alone a respectful one that acknowledges its humor and its helpfulness to women wishing to "rein in libido." It feels like Christmas has come early!

P.S. I have fired off a correction to the Times for calling me "born-again" rather than "Catholic." That has happened in other publications too. It seems that some reporters assume that anyone who's evangelical about their Christian faith has to be a Protestant.

P.P.S. Memo to self: Have dinner with future boyfriend at Little Giant — or, if God continues to take an awfully long time, just take myself there.

'Get the Cheez Doodles!'

For those who missed my reading at the Second Avenue/32nd Street Borders bookstore, here's what it looked like:



Many thanks to everyone who came to the event. It was a beautiful experience and I look forward to my upcoming signings in the D.C./Md./Va. area — see the Appearances section of thrillofthechaste.com for details.

Buy my book from Amazon.com.

'A Woman After Augustine's Own Heart'

"Eden is fearless about sharing details of her personal life so that others might learn from her mistakes. Her story, told with breezy wit and peppered with literary and pop-culture references, makes for an eye-opening and persuasive witness. ... Eden’s insights about the dignity of man and the divine origins of the vocation of marriage reveal a thoroughly modern woman seeking the will of God without compromise."

— Robyn Lee, reviewing The Thrill of the Chaste in the National Catholic Register. Buy the book at your local bookstore or at Amazon.com.

Trill of the (not-yet-)chaste

In August 2002, I had the opportunity to live out my rock-star dream for one night, performing two songs at the legendary Hoboken nightclub Maxwell's. The occasion was a multi-artist record-release party for the Stiff Records tribute collection The Stiff Generation, on which I covered singer-songwriter Kirsty MacColl's "They Don't Know" (a hit for Tracey Ullman). At the concert, as on disc, I was backed by the excellent Anderson Council, plus my friend and neighbor Chris Butler, formerly of the Waitresses, joined me as a special guest.

So, here is the pre-chastity me performing "They Don't Know" at the show, with little modesty and even less vocal talent. Yet somehow it is good to know that, when put on the spot, I am capable of summoning mountainous reserves of chutzpah:

The Borders signing went beautifully and without a hitch. I'll post details and photos (maybe even video) after I get some sleep. Many thanks to everyone who prayed; it helped a lot to feel prayed-for.

On a housekeeping note, I removed Part 3 of "Chastening Thoughts" because I finally watched it — I hadn't actually had a chance to see it before putting it up (was using a computer that couldn't access YouTube) — and I saw how smug I looked. I've had some coaching on reading since then and learned not to make faces, etc. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be ironic when quoting myself, but by no means did I intend to be ironic when quoting C.S. Lewis.

And now ... for something ... completely ... chaste ...

Never ... let it be said ... that I give elliptical ... answers. However ... there are times ... when reporters have me using ... a lot ... of ellipses ... as with ... an interview ... that appears in the ... Washington ... Times ... today ...

See you at Borders tonight!

Chastening Thoughts, Part 2

Ode to Joey

I'm delighted to announce that I'm going to be on the legendary Joey Reynolds' show on WOR 710 AM tonight at 2 a.m. (OK, it's actually early tomorrow morning).

Also today, I'll be on Jennifer Horn's show on WSMN (Nashua, N.H.) from 11:10-11:25 a.m., the Sirius Catholic Channel's Bob Dunning show from 2:45-3:15 p.m., and then on to Sirius' "Jay Thomas Show" from 3:30-3:45 p.m.

And now ... must ... get ... sleep ...

Buss stop

A commenter on my Radar interview is promising a "queer kiss-in" at my reading and book-signing tomorrow night at the Kips Bay Plaza branch of Borders, 576 Second Ave. at 32nd St. in Manhattan.

I actually think this is a great idea, as the reading has been advertised on some Web sites as a singles event; what better way to let the heterosexuals in the crowd know who's straight and who's not?

Quote of the day

"The scandal of Christianity is that God has not treated us at all as we did him. Though we chose to rebel, God has chosen to enter the war and fight for us not as supreme commander transmitting orders from a safe, distant place but as one of us, subject to the same battles that beset each of us each day. He enters into the fray against the forces that seek to destroy us and is betrayed and executed as an enemy of the people; he is the supreme casualty. The story should end there and if you or I were the author, it would. But where we would end, God makes a new beginning. Though war rages, the outcome is sure, God will win. He has neutralized the enemy’s best weapon: fear of death. And by becoming man, “by taking [our] manhood into God,” (6) he has made it possible for us to participate in his victory if we will turn away from that insidious voice, if we reject Satan’s ‘freedom’ and instead be set free to be fully human, to grow into God’s image and likeness, to love him so much that even the wiles of the devil can only make us more like him."

— Drusilla, from the entry "Those Damnably Inconvenient Corpses — Part III," the final entry in a powerful series on Heirs in Hope. Scroll down to Part 1 first and read the whole series; she writes with a depth and intensity that is more common in well-written books than it is in the blog world.

Kevin can wait

My Kevin McCullough interview originally set for this afternoon has been rescheduled to next Tuesday, December 12, 3-4 p.m. Tomorrow — Wednesday — I'll be on Bob Dunning's show on the Sirius Satellite Radio Catholic Channel. Bob, like Kevin, is a great interviewer and I'm very much looking forward to being on his show.

Chastening Thoughts

In honor of today's being the official release date of The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On, here is Part One of a new video series, directed by the Raving Atheist (hot off the heels of "Chastity Rome-Chick Blues"):

K-Lo gets the lowdown

Many thanks to National Review Online's Kathryn Jean Lopez for her Q&A with me that appears in National Review Online today; it's a great honor to be featured there.

There's one quote in that interview that I would change if I could, where I said "there are countless books for [teens] on abstinence, while there is only one for women in their 20s and 30s — mine." First off, my book is not really on abstinence — chastity is a state of mind that goes beyond mere abstinence. Moreover, there are other books on chastity for women who are past their teens; mine is the first directed specifically at those who are interested in going from unchastity to chastity — and it's the first by someone who's actually been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, taken it off, and put it back on again.

Zoo's sorry now

A guest post by Yeoman

Recently, here on this blog, there was some discussion on sex and slippery slopes, together with the nature of marriage. Dawn, in her interview in Radar, correctly notes this in the context of "homosexual" marriage. As anyone alive in North America today well knows, the argument on homosexual marriage is that homosexuals are denied the right of marriage, as they can't marry somebody of the same sex. Dawn correctly points out that homosexuals have the same right to marry as anyone else, but that means they have the right to marry somebody of the opposite sex, marriage being by definition a union of people of the opposite sex. The proponents of same sex unions argue instead that their inclinations dictate their rights, and that this should be respected, and sanctioned, by the state. What does it hurt, after all?

Even ten or fifteen years ago, such an argument would have been regarded as on the fringe. At that time, there were still those concerned by the U.S. Supreme Court's rulings that the State's couldn't look at any conduct between two "consenting adults". The argument was that, if you eliminated that ability, then soon you'd have no ability to address any such conduct. We'd have, the argument was made, polygamy, and same sex unions. After all, if its legal to marry one women, but live with twenty, what logic keeps you from marrying all twenty? No solid logic. Still, it wouldn't happen, was the argument. Same sex unions are one thing, but that doesn't open the door to all sorts of things, right?

Well, if you allow one man to marry another, why not allow a man to marry, um, his livestock.

Sound too extreme. Well, here's the proposal:

COPENHAGEN (Reuters) - Denmark's Council for Animal Ethics said on Thursday there was no need to ban sex with animals unless it took place in pornographic films or sex shows.

Only one of the 10 members of the council, set up by the Danish Justice Ministry to establish and uphold animal ethics, wants bestiality expressly forbidden.

The others said current laws provided enough animal protection, according to Danish news agency Ritzau.

A senior member of the right wing Danish People's Party was shocked by the recommendation and said the subject should be put to a referendum.

"Then there wouldn't be any doubt about the result," Christian Hansen said. A Justice Ministry spokesman was not available for comment.

Now, it would appear the "right wing" Danish legislator is likely right. Denmark probably won't legalize animal sex . . yet. But its interesting how this is now a topic which is openly discussed. This isn't at all the same as same sex unions, and I'm not arguing that it is. But, having lost the moorings of marriage, and having forgotten what the definition was, it would now seem that not only has it been forgotten by some that it is a union between two sexes, but that some have forgotten that a sexual union ought to be restricted to unions within the same species. In loosing the definitions of the words, it's seems, we've lost to a degree to even define moral conduct.

Or, in other words, "ick".

Well, can similar arguments for legalization of polygamy or pedophilia, and whatnot, and more such discussions be far off?

In looking at this, the really weird part is, given that we've now managed to get past the whole sexual orientation, species orientation thing, the concern over pornography? The proponents are not concerned about bestiality, but they are worried about filming it? Weird.

Extreme, I know. But a reminder, perhaps, that when you end up discussing anything as okay, there's no limit as to what can be discussed.

But not viewed, apparently. After all, animal porn would still be illegal . . .

Wow

I just found out where I'll be speaking in Baltimore on Saturday, Dec. 16. Details to follow!

Sirius Thrill

I am delighted to announce that I will be the very first interview guest on Sirius Radio's Catholic Channel when it launches tomorrow morning (Monday, Dec. 4). Gus Lloyd will interview me for his "Seize the Day" program at 9 a.m. — right after Cardinal Egan blesses the studio!

Thrill of the chastened

While those of you who have commented here about my Radar interview have been overwhelmingly encouraging, for which I thank you, I've read observations from two people who have said that it was indeed "too much information."

One of the dissenters is an aunt of mine, and the other is a writer on a Catholic blog who does not appear to be very familiar with me or my writings apart from that interview. They make similar points — that in the interest of modesty, I should take the high road and not pander to an interviewer who is baiting me with questions that are unabashedly prurient.

I can see their points. I am new to interviews, and the Radar one was in many ways a learning experience. The biggest thing I learned from it is that I should, if it is at all possible, refuse to answer questions about subjects that are not covered in my book. The problem with outright refusal, however, is that it could make me come off as rude, snobby, or like I have something to hide; nobody likes an interview subject who just says, "Next question." With more experience, I hope to find a way to deflect such questions without irritating the interviewer or readers more than necessary — but there may be more rocky interviews before I master the technique.

With regard to the dissenters' main concern — what they see as unduly explicit answers — I know why I answered the way I did. It was a similar interview that I did for Gawker in August 2004, where I spoke somewhat salaciously of my journey from rock journalist to Christian blogger, that caught the attention of the New York Observer's George Gurley. And it was Gurley's article that in turn caught the attention of W Publishing Group, which is how my book came to be.

In other words, if I hadn't painted Gawker a graphic picture of a woman who found fulfillment in chaste Christianity that she never attained when living a sordid secular lifestyle, The Thrill of the Chaste would not be making the news right now. Perhaps I might have gotten it published by a small publisher who could get it into specialty Christian stores, but it wouldn't have been the exciting, countercultural news story that it now is to mainstream publications like Radar (and many more media outlets to come).

I can guess that the Catholic blogger who dissented to my interview would here interject that by now, I should know better than to feed secular reporters' sexual curiosity; I should never "do evil that good may come."

There is certainly merit in such a viewpoint. To anyone who holds it, I ask for your patience, and especially your prayers. It is very important to me that I bring my book's message to a secular audience. Even if its audience is overwhelmingly Christian, most Christians get far more of their news from secular outlets than they do from religious ones — and secular outlets aren't interested in an interview with yet another buttoned-up, Suzy Creamcheese abstinence advocate with a pasted-on smile and unspotted past. Not that the world doesn't need more Suzy Creamcheeses; however, I don't believe many viewers identify with a woman who knows how to make the perfect jello salad for every occasion but has never in her life worn an outfit intended to show off the contours of her butt.

I believe that in The Thrill of the Chaste, I successfully display the more colorful aspects of my experience and my unusually salty brand of chastity advocacy without dipping too deeply into my blue material. Certainly, respected Christian writers like Maggie Gallagher and Christopher West think so, otherwise, they wouldn't have endorsed my book. The challenge is to accomplish that in interviews, where there is a great deal of pressure to perform. Again, I ask for your patience and, most of all, your prayers.

Sisters of nightlife

Just got back from the Sisters of Life's annual Advent party in the undercroft of Our Saviour. The packed room reminded me of a Catholic version of the party scene in "Laugh-In" with more Gibsons — that's Henry Gibsons, not Mel. I kept expecting for everyone to suddenly freeze while one of the Gibsons would quip something like, "I used to be in a Presbyterian rock band called Snap Crackle. We Poped."