British docs say breast-cancer patients should never have been born
Think about the women you know who have suffered from breast cancer. Would the world be a better place if they never had existed?
Yes, say British doctors—not in so many words, but in their mission: killing "unfit" embryos that carry an increased risk of breast cancer, so that a woman may fulfill her dream of the "perfect" baby.
The Times of London reports that six unique human beings were destroyed for the benefit of a choosy would-be mother:
Doctors screened out from the woman’s embryos an inherited gene that would have left the baby with a greater than 50% chance of developing the cancer.
The woman decided to have her embryos screened because her husband had tested positive for the gene and his sister, mother, grandmother and cousin have all had the cancer.
The couple produced 11 embryos, of which five were found to be free from the gene. Two of these were implanted in the woman’s womb and she is now 14 weeks pregnant.
By screening out embryos carrying the gene, called BRCA-1, the couple, from London, will eliminate the hereditary disease from their lineage.
If every would-be mother had chosen to have this expensive and invasive procedure done to "eliminate the hereditary disease from [her] lineage," no woman you know who suffered from breast cancer would exist.
The media portrays embryo selection as though it were a "cure" for breast cancer. It is not. It is an end to human beings who may develop breast cancer.
There is a difference, and I am afraid we may find out about it too late. Unless good people speak up, insurance companies will continue to pressure doctors to pressure women to have preimplantation genetic diagnosis for Down syndrome and other conditions that would be costly to treat, while doctors will likewise encourage women to combine PGD with expensive IVF treatment. In time, those women who do have breast cancer or other "eliminable" hereditary diseases may come to be seen as "useless eaters."
What many seem unwilling to admit is that "choice" has consequences—for individuals and society at large.
A teenage Madonna wannabe finds an Israeli role model who saves her from the life of a Material Girl. It's an inspiring story, and has nothing whatsoever to do with Kabbalah. Read it on Pentimento's blog.
For St. Peters, Missouri's All Saints Church, the answer is Father Dennis Schenkel, whom the church's pastor credits with breaking its mythical "Curse of the Jilted Jesuit."
If you're visiting this site after having seen me on EWTN's "Faith and Culture," welcome! Here are a few quick links if you'd like to learn a bit more about me and my book:
The show was taped last September, when I was the first and, so far, only director of the Cardinal Newman Society's outreach effort to help Catholic colleges promote chastity, the Love and Responsibility Program. The society cut out the outreach component of the program a few months later, so I left to continue as a freelance writer and speaker.
My next speaking appearances will be at World Youth Day 2008 in Sydney, where I will be speaking at the Sisters of Life's Love and Life Site July 16 at 6 p.m. Details on my other WYD appearances will be available on the Juventutem Web site.
My book, The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On, is available from Amazon in English and in Spanish. It is also available in Polish and will soon be available in Chinese. More information about my book is available on thrillofthechaste.com. (The site's Appearances page needs an update, as I've yet to list my WYD dates, but it will tell you where I've been.)
My most recent freelance writings include articles for InsideCatholic on feminism and Pope John Paul II (how his call for a "new feminism" was misinterpreted) and stem-cell politics. I also wrote an article for the American Spectator online this month on how "Sex and the City" influences young girls: "Sex and the Kiddies."
Since taping "Faith and Culture," I have discussed The Thrill on NBC's "Today" show and on the Australian "Today" knockoff "Weekend Sunrise (below).
I am grateful for your interest in my work and particularly for your prayers. Readers of this blog buoyed me greatly with their prayers earlier this year when I had my second operation for thyroid cancer. Right now, I am very thankful to be cancer-free and working on a proposal for my second book. It will not be the follow-up to The Thrill that I had originally planned, but rather a book encompassing a wider theme of recovery and healing in Christ. More as it develops, but in the meantime, thanks again for all your prayers, good wishes, and support. To borrow a phrase from Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, a hero of mine, God love you!
Can it be 20 years since I read The Wind in the Willows? Picking it up on the advice of a boyfriend who adored the book, I was surprised. I normally love children's classics, but Toad was so repulsive that I found myself rooting for the ferrets.
Today, reading Fallen Sparrow's thoughts as he revisits Kenneth Grahame's novel is almost enough to make me wonder if, given the understanding of grace that I have now, I too should give the book another chance.
As I read the book again, it occurs to me that, even as a youngster, I had a certain amount of identification with the character of Toad, perhaps because I saw some of his personality traits in myself even then. I'm happy that his friends love him as much as they do, and want to see him get better, just as I have come to see how fortunate I am to have family and friends who have loved me despite my capriciousness all these years.
Perhaps my real problem with the book was that I refused to see how much I had in common with Toad. We were both trying to fool ourselves into thinking we were making our lifestyle choices in a vacuum. The truth is that, however deeply embedded one is in one's own personal bog, everything one does makes ripples.
Good morning! A few short items and I'm off for the weekend:
I am delighted to announce I will be speaking at the Sisters of Life's Love and Life Site at World Youth Day in Sydney July 16 at 6 p.m. Details on my other WYD appearances will be available on the Juventutem Web site.
Today's quote was from Hadley Arkes' "Tim Russert: The Story Untold." I've removed it because it did not provide enough context for Arkes' point, and if I excerpted enough to provide the proper context, it would violate copyright. Catch-22. Do read the entire piece.
Yippee! My new portrait by Matthew Alderman of Shrine of the Holy Whapping has arrived (that's it at upper left)! I love it! Many thanks to Matthew for doing his usual masterful job, this time adding a Sacred Heart icon at my request. It's wonderful, exactly what I wanted, all the way down to the mod Mondrian-inspired background.
Serbian Orthodox monastery threatened by wildfires
Passing on this prayer request from a reader:
His Grace Bishop Maxim of the Western American Diocese urges all of our Orthodox faithful to offer prayers for the protection of the St. Herman of Alaska Serbian Orthodox monastery in Platina, California. Wild fires are quickly approaching the monastery grounds and the Monastery is in great danger of being burned down. The monastic community has been evacuated and are seeking refuge in the neighboring parish of Redding. Check the diocesan Web site for updates.
"We should not expect our lives to make complete sense in this world. We should not expect them to turn out beautiful and well proportioned and perfectly acceptable from a temporal point of view, because we are cooperating with God's plan for our eternal happiness. Our task is not to build a beautiful edifice in this world, but rather, as Gaudium et spes 38 puts it, to prepare material for the Kingdom of God. And our best efforts, even if unsuccessful from a this-worldly perspective, constitute solid building material that the Lord uses in constructing his kingdom. That is why Gaudium et spes 39 explains: 'after we have obeyed the Lord, and in his Spirit nurtured on earth the values of human dignity, brotherhood and freedom, and indeed all the good fruits of our nature and enterprise, we will find them again, but freed of stain, burnished and transfigured. This will be so when Christ hands over to the Father a kingdom eternal and universal.'"
MAL's Web site features a review of my book and also an excerpt from the Polish edition. Those links will take you to Google's computerized Polish-to-English translations of both. The translation of the review jumbles the critic's prose, but it's clearly a rave: "Topic close the book to anyone who is not ashamed to admit that sex is terribly compelling sphere of life, energy and the bomb that can not easily over her reign. On my nose will bestseller!"
I am posting the following on behalf of a dear friend of mine in Connecticut who is back on the job market after spending three years taking care of her mother, who passed away last August. I can personally vouch for her talent and character. She writes:
From November 2004 until her passing in August 2007, I had the privilege of caring for my mother full-time as she battled a crippling illness. Since Our Lord called her home last summer, I have been involved in settling her affairs. I have been involved in the (volunteer) coordination of spiritual and social activities at my parish as well – a role that has helped me refresh and improve all of my workforce skills.
I have begun in earnest to look for a full-time job. Prior to my caregiving vocation, I spent twenty-five years in the administration field in various industries including marketing and advertising, executive search, and fundraising for various non-profits (healthcare and education).
I have a broad skill set that enables me to work in almost any environment. I am looking for a position as an executive assistant, a director of development, an event planner – all of which fit with my particular talents. I am a whiz on the computer (PC and Mac), I type like the wind, and I possess excellent communication skills, both written and oral. I can learn anything – fast!
As a daily communicant, I would dearly love to continue going to morning Mass – something I managed to do before I left the workforce and continued to do during my caregiving vocation. I was always blessed to have understanding supervisors in this regard. So finding a job that allows this vital part of my day would be ideal.
I am reminded of Mother Teresa’s daily prayer. I found it on a prayer card I in my mother’s prayer book after she passed away. It now resides in my own prayer book.
'Let me preach Thee without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to Thee.'
Whatever job I find, I hope to work for the greater glory of God. He has given me so many blessings, and I want to be a leaven in the midst of society. I don’t need to work in a Catholic or Christian company per se (although I wouldn’t object…), but I hope to find a position where I can show others the joy that comes from following Our Lord every day.
I am looking for a position in mid-Fairfield County, Connecticut. I could also do Putnam County, N.Y., and am flexible on other locations. Also, I am flexible on salary, which people can inquire about directly.
Truly, your prayers on my behalf are appreciated.
If you have any leads for my friend, please e-mail me (or use my feedback form). She will also be reading the comments to this post, and I know she will be encouraged by your prayers. Thank you.
Thinking about Latin love (see entry below) reminds me of the only conjugation I know in that language—via Stephen Sondheim and Leonard Bernstein.
The clip is from From the 2005 "Live on Broadway" version of "Candide," with the New York Philharmonic under conductor Marin Alsop, and I am so sorry I missed it. Let me know if you want to see more clips from this performance, as a generous soul has posted several to YouTube, including an amazing performance by Patti LuPone as the Old Lady.
Dr. Pangloss: Sir Thomas Allen Candide: Paul Groves Cunegonde: Kristin Chenoweth Paquette: Janine LaManna Maximillian: Jeff Blumenkrantz
I am delighted to announce that next month, when I give talks in Sydney during World Youth Day, I will be surrounded by Latin lovers—so to speak.
One of my appearances will be at an event on July 14 in conjunction with Juventutem, an international delegation of Catholic youth attached to the extraordinary form of the Roman Rite (Traditional Latin Mass). Being a Latin lover myself, I am also looking forward to attending the traditional liturgies at the church that will be hosting Juventutem's events, St. Augustine's Balmain.
My talk will, however, be in English, as I cannot tell my amas from my amo.
Touchstone editor David Mills makes his debut in InsideCatholic.com with a solid piece on why the arguments for same-sex marriage also enable polygamy.
FIRST TIME IN PRINT! Archbishop Sheen pays tribute to the Jesuits
Today, I am honored to present a wonderful find, courtesy of reader David Sailer, archivist of the University of Detroit Jesuit High School and Academy: a previously unpublished speech given at the school by then-Bishop Fulton J. Sheen in 1952. Sailer writes, "The only copies of the speech in existence are in my possession and in the archives of the school."
Only an excerpt from the speech appears here, as I do not wish to offend the Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen Foundation or whomever owns the copyright to the speech. If the speech is not already in the possession of the foundation, I hope they will acquire it from the school and make the full text available to all.
I am sharing this as a tribute to my Jesuit readers, and especially to the newly ordained Father Phil Hurley S.J. The next words you hear will be those of Bishop Sheen:
"... [W]hat is peculiar, characteristic of all of the Jesuit missions, from the very beginning, is how much they have been blessed with martyrs. In America, in Mexico, in China…that is the sign of the blessing of God. Knowing the name of His Divine Son, it was fitting in some way that they should be heralded before the world, in the same way as the Savior Himself, by a kind of Crucifixion. Their influence in some communities has been so great that there is one fact that is worth mentioning that happened within the last two years.
"There are nine countries in the world that will not allow the Gospel to be preached. One of them is the little state of Nepal. It is near India and Tibet. The Jesuits conducted a school, something like this school, in India, and some of the sons of the political leaders of Nepal went to this particular school. They came back, they told their parents about the good education they received, and the result was that this year, for the first time, the missionaries are allowed in, the Jesuits were invited in, given over three or four hundred acres of land, all building erected by the Nepalese government, and now, the Nepalese will begin to take their place with the other countries of the world for beginning to see the light of Christianity. (slight clapping)
"But, I was speaking particularly of the martyrs. You’re all familiar with Fr. Pro, of Mexico, but perhaps you do not know how very much they have also followed the whole spirit of the Church by educating native clergy when they go to the Philippines, when they go to India, when they go to Japan or anywhere else, they educate native clergy. Just as you want to be educated here by Americans, so the Japanese want to be educated by the Japanese, the Chinese by the Chinese. Now there raised up in China some very remarkable priests. One of them was a Fr. Beda Chang. November the eleventh, nineteen hundred and fifty-one, Fr. Beda Chang was exposed to martyrdom by the reds. He was asked to give up his faith; he refu- he refused to do it, and as a result, died a martyr to the faith. The Communists refuse to allow a solemn Mass to be held in Shanghai. So great was the devotion of the people to young Fr. Chang. When the people, the following weeks, began going out to the grave of Fr. Chang, the Communists then stationed guards. Miracles began to be worked through the intercession of Fr. Chang. And now comes the last and most curious expression of the Communist mentality in China, it goes to show you the Communists have no sense of humor. The Communists went to Bishop Kung, the bishop of Shanghai, and they told him that he would be held responsible for any miracles that were worked through the intercession of Fr. Chang. (laughter) You see how the Jesuits have to be watched all over the world with the Communists. (laughter) It’s a wonderful thing when any evil influence fears sanctity, and it is a great and high tribute to know that the Communists in China fear the sanctity of those who have received their training from the Jesuits. ...
"... We are witnessing in our world today what might be called the influence of the demonic. It’s something new. The demonic means that there is coming out of deep, cavernous, libidinous depths evil influences that are affecting the whole world. Two men have largely been the spokesmen of the cavernous, libidinous instincts; one was Marx, who said that all civilization was to be made by the revolutionary mass movement of people; the other was Freud, who said that the individual was to be made by something that was libidinous in him coming to the surface. That the super-ego, morality and tradition and religion, was something that hindered, and in some way stopped the influence of that which was truly man, namely what he called the id.
"And all over the world there is the outbreak of the demonic spirit, the glorification of irrational forces. How meet these mass movements, these subterranean, irrational depths? We can meet it only by the creation of an elite. Not a money elite, but a spiritual elite. A world in a crisis is always saved by a creative minority and not just by a majority. And the creative minority is born by men and women who follow the Gospel. In the words of Our Lord: 'Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His justice and all of these things will be added unto you.'
"Yes, men who will leave the lights and glamours of the world for the shades and shadows of the Cross where the saints are made. Who will pick up the Exercises of St. Ignatius and particularly that chapter that has to deal with the Discernment of Spirits? So that they may understand something of the spirits, good and evil, that there are in the world today. And may be able to judge and decide between them, for these are days when we must stand up all of us now and be counted. And if the world is to be remade, it will be done, not by masses being pushed by revolutionary leaders; it will be done by these men who remake their own hearts and souls, as Our Blessed Savior Himself remade a human nature by a resurrection and make that a pattern of all of us. He could leave Caesar on his throne, and Pilate on his judgment seat, and Roman coins in the pockets of people that were already being obsessed by foreign leaders. Then He would take twelve men, and He would completely change the world. So that is the way our world is to be remade.
"And if there was a greater knowledge throughout the universe, of this thirty-days prayer and this discernment of spirits, then we might have leadership born like – the leadership that came to us through Gideon. You remember that he was to go out and do battle with the Medionites that had an army of over one hundred thousand men; he had only thirty thousand men. God said, 'Your army is too great. Tell all the cowards to leave.' Twenty thousand cowards left. He had only ten thousand men. God said, 'Your army is still too great. Send the men to the river and watch them drink.' And the ten thousand men went to the river and Gideon watched them drink. And some of them threw themselves prone upon their stomachs at the river’s edge and drank, and others ran along the bank and they dipped their hands into the water and lapped it into their mouths as they ran. And God said, 'That's your army, only three hundred. Now if you win, you will know that you have won by My power and not by the power of men.' And with that army Gideon won!
"And so the students who have been trained here, the men who have been trained also in the retreat houses, belong to this, the army of Gideon. And therefore, we salute the Jesuits on this the occasion of their seventy-fifth anniversary. We read in the epistle that when the name of Jesus is mentioned, every knee bows, every knee, in Heaven, on earth, and under the earth, where the abysmal forces tremble. And if all knees bow at the mention of that Name, then of this, the occasion of the seventy-fifth anniversary, we should say to this Society that has followed that Name, 'We salute you!' And though we bow the knee only to the Savior after Whom you are named, we take off our hats today. We salute you! God love you!"
Good morning! Have been busy—will post something new tomorrow a.m. Watch this space for an excerpt from a previously unpublished talk by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, sent to me by a friend who found it in an archive.
Got some great news yesterday with regard to my grad school prospects. I took the GRE cold and got 680 verbal and 640 quantitative (math), which according to that reliable source Wikipedia put me in the 96th and 58th percentiles, respectively. (The fact that I ranked above the mean at all in the math section is absolutely amazing.)
When you take the GRE test, you get to see your scores on the multiple-choice sections instantly, which is how I know how I did. It will be another couple of weeks before the analytical-writing score comes in, as that section has to be reviewed by two college faculty members. I am not worried about my score on that, though I suppose perhaps I should be concerned that a secular academic might not enjoy reading my conversion story.
In hope of entering full-time studies for a master's in theology this fall, I had my scores sent to four area schools, but I already have a particular one in mind: Dominican House of Studies. The volumes of Archbishop Sheen I have read in the past couple of years have whetted my appetite for Thomism, for which it looks like DHS is the place to go. It is also appealing as it is the home of many excellent minds such as John Corbett. No, that wouldn't be "Aidan" of "Sex and the City," but rather the Rev. John Corbett O.P., a professor of moral theology whose lectures at my parish this past year made me want to learn more.
Contraception vs. desire for unconditional love—guess which wins
Time magazine and a Massachusetts TV station have the sad story of the pregnancy pact that led to 17 Gloucester High students age 16 and younger becoming pregnant.
Time gloats over how the "fiercely Catholic enclave"'s school failed to provide sex-ed and contraception access that's up to Planned Parenthood's standards, but that doesn't seem at all to be the issue, according to a former student:
Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."
Even Time's reporter admits that throwing contraceptives at underage teens isn't going to solve this one:
Gloucester's elected school committee plans to vote later this summer on whether to provide contraceptives. But that won't do much to solve the issue of teens wanting to get pregnant. Says rising junior Kacia Lowe, who is a classmate of the pactmakers': "No one's offered them a better option."
I think proponents of abstinence education—the best programs of which stress building healthy relationships—can be forgiven for thinking there must be a better way to help these teens than attempting to persuade them to simply use "protection."
One wonders what kind of love the teens are getting at home. It would be interesting to learn how many of them have parents who are still together. Not very many, I fear.
A representative of FES (Fellowship of Evangelical Students) Press, which is introducing the Chinese-language edition of my book The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On at a Hong Kong book fair next month, e-mailed me yesterday:
I would like to ask you something, which seems to be cultural-specific that Chinese readers may not understand and will not be able to find the meaning from the website. In Chapter 14, you mention "The Last Chance Saloon" and "Joe Chug-It" (p. 138). Could you explain a little bit about these two? Is it a character in a story in the States, or in a TV/movie program?
The line in question is from my advising Christian readers to seek a church young-adult group whose events center on faith and fellowship rather than drinking in bars: ""That's where you'll meet men of stronger moral fiber than Joe Chug-It at the Last Chance Saloon."
I replied in part:
I really appreciate your writing to me with questions regarding the translation. Both "The Last Chance Saloon" and "Joe Chug-It" are my own inventions, meant to be descriptive of a certain kind of bar and a certain kind of person. You could replace them with similarly descriptive words. My intention was to add some humor to my point. If I were stating it another way, I would say, "That's where you'll meet men of stronger moral fiber than those who would would rather read beer ads than the Bible."
Did I mention that I am utterly thrilled about my book's coming out in Chinese? And being marketed in Hong Kong? As they say in Chinese, Hallelujah!
"The ACLU and Planned Parenthood have teamed up in an aggressive campaign over the past several years—a campaign to pressure states to eliminate abstinence education and to reject federal funding for these programs. And though their work hasn’t drawn much attention, it has been remarkably successful. A year ago, only four states refused federal abstinence-education funding. Today the number is seventeen. The goal is to get enough states to refuse the federal abstinence-education funding to the point where the ACLU and Planned Parenthood can convince Congress to eliminate such funding entirely.
"All this is happening, by the way, as fresh reports arrive almost every month about the benefits of teen abstinence and the effectiveness of abstinence programs. ...
"[F]ew people seem aware of the coordinated effort to achieve all this that the ACLU and Planned Parenthood have undertaken (working in conjunction with such local groups as Advocates for Youth and the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States). In this year’s Planned Parenthood annual report, the group boasts success in getting governors to reject federal funding for abstinence: 'The tide is shifting in America, and last year 10 governors refused' federal funding. On their website, you’ll find hyperlinks where you can 'help Planned Parenthood bring vital information about birth control and responsible decision making to the classroom' and 'tell your elected representatives it’s time to end dangerous abstinence-only programs and to stand up for real sex education!'...
"It's not alone in the fight. Federally funded comprehensive sex-ed is, apparently, a civil liberty, and the ACLU wants to make sure that every teenager receives it. The group’s website urges visitors: 'Stop the Abstinence-Only Charade! Federally funded abstinence-only-until-marriage programs are ineffective, medically inaccurate, and some may even use taxpayer dollars to promote religion. The ACLU is calling for an end to federal funding.'
"To advance this end, it has established a national campaign—'Take Issue, Take Charge'—to lobby at the state level. The current one is similar to another ACLU campaign—'Not in My State'—launched in 2005. That one targeted eighteen states to get them to reject the federal funds. Today, seventeen states already have: Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia, and Wisconsin."
— Ryan T. Anderson, from "The War on Abstinence," on the First Things blog today—a must-read exposé.
I'm not sure why Josephine's husband Damien describes his beliefs with the name of a soft drink, but he seems to be interested in RC:
You see, when I was a young boy (cue blues harmonica) I was very involved in my church. I had close friends there and I really wanted to live my life serving others. I wanted to help people and religion played a huge role in my life.
Things went kind of down hill over the years, much my own fault and some blame I point a finger at.... ahhh... you... right there, the 2nd guy on the right in the blue blazer and the pink socks. I am staring right at you buddy.
Lately things have been changing in my life, through a tragedy and the kindness of those around us I have been expressing some interest in my wife's church.
I was raised Faygo....err.... Protestant and me own wee wife is Catholic. ... Yeah as a Faygo, I mean Protestant, I had been taught to hate Catholics.
Welp, these days I am a Deist. I don't know where I am going to end up... but it sure is going to be a wacky ride. I need some answers blast it, I have questions and you people are being dragged along on the back of my pickup truck while we blast early Kenny Rogers songs. Ok, I am just kidding about the dragging you part and the pickup truck and the Kenny Rogers.
Well mostly kidding anyways.
He writes in an e-mail that it would be a "huge" help if Dawn Patrol readers would answer some of the questions he plans to post at his new blog, The Great Super Funtime Adventure. If you're interested, while he's thinking of questions, I suggest commenting on his first post to let him know you're there for him. I know from personal experience how much the Blogdom of Saints can help one who seeks truth.
[Continued from Part 30, picking up from October 25, 1999:]
That was what made the feeling of submission something other than blind obedience. I had come from a real experience of evil. What Romans 5:1 and everything else I knew about God from the Bible promised was the ultimate good. As scary as it was to make myself vulnerable, and as much as I knew it would involve some sort of loss of self, I had to trust that the essence of my identity—whatever it was—would survive the transformation.
There was a choice I had to make. If I wanted to finally get busy living instead of dying, there was really nowhere else to turn.
It was a razor's-edge experience, to be sure, offering myself up without knowing what I would become. Yet there was something very, very beautiful about realizing with my entire being how dependent I was upon God. I read with new understanding Bible passages like, "Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves."
That was really the most dramatic effect of the gift of faith, especially as, unlike the short-lived feeling of being led by the Spirit, it was permanent: Everything in the Bible seemed new.
I had already done quite a bit of Bible reading for longtime agnostic, having read through much of the Old Testament and the Gospels at various times during my childhood, and having done more thorough readings of my pocket Gideon New Testament/Psalms/Proverbs in recent months. Before receiving faith, I liked the Bible intellectually, but the words lay flat on the page. They were historical statements or intellectual propositions—thought-provoking, good and reasonable overall, but ultimately questionable because the presence of the God they praised was questionable. There was certainly a mysterious depth to them, and their ancient authority gave them an air of gravity. At base, however, I saw them as texts whose merits could be judged the same way I judged the merits of Shakespeare or Lester Bangs or Charles M. Schulz. Had I not received faith, I might have landed myself a place on the Jesus Seminar.
Now, when I opened a Bible, the words positively leaped off the page. They were alive. More than that, everything seemed to relate to everything. What had been dry or even pedestrian was suddenly infused with layer upon layer of meaning.
During the days and weeks to come, I combed the Word with new excitement, aided by the huge antique copy of Young's Concordance that Mom and Ron had let me take with me (they held on to their Strong's). The tome found a home under my bed, from whence I found myself pulling it out in the middle of the night to look up some word that had come to me in my dreams, in case it proved to be fraught with biblical meaning. Since my dreams were still peppered with Sixties song lyrics, that meant looking up words like "palm" after waking up with Van Dyke Parks' "Palm Desert" wafting through my head.
The actual Parks lyric that came to me was, "By Palm Desert springs often run dry." It didn't occur to me at the time, but reading it now, I see it relates to my old life—when I was, as Parks wrote in the same song, "touched to have withstood by the very old search for the truth within the bounds of toxicity." Had I realized, I would have discovered that the real answer to the image of the desert with springs that often run dry was in a psalm: "All my springs are in you."
[To be continued. Click the "Wuz" tag below to read all entries in the series.]
[Note from Dawn: The following e-mail is printed with permission from Josephine, for whom Dawn Patrol readers offered prayers after she lost a baby last week. The mom, who has six children here on Earth, writes that she is grateful for your prayers; I am publishing her story for those who would like to continue helping shoulder her burden, which she is carrying with great grace. Before reading, please be aware that her description of her miscarriage is highly graphic.]
This is not where I wanted to be. A little more than a month ago my sister and I were both pregnant and expecting to be taking the babies on trips to the store with us and just hanging out together. A month and two days before I lost Sean she lost her daughter. At that time, and when we found out we were pregnant, we had no idea what was about to happen.
I admit I was afraid when I took the pregnancy test and it came up positive. I was frustrated that it was so hard to follow your cycles when they are 42 days long. I was afraid that we were never going to get stuff done that I need to get done on the house. Our van has already been outgrown. But God knows me. I panic then I sit down and make baby booties and blankets and wait to hold my baby. After my panic that is exactly what I did. It was unremarkable, the time between the pregnancy test and this Tuesday, except that I was so ill. Always tired, never able to eat much, run down too fast when I did do something. I still never expected anything.
[My husband] Damien just had surgery on his knee the 4th and has been home the whole time healing. We argued about whether or not he would drag me to the hospital if I had the baby while he was on his way home. We fought over the fact that I hate hospitals, too often the people in them as well. They see things every day, and most become numb to them and unfortunately to their patients as well. I hate the coldness. I hate that it is not home.
Sunday I mowed the lawn with the kids. Our lawn tractor is busted right now—wel,l the spindle is busted because the water company didn't put the grate to the meter back in the ground, so I mowed over it. We had to use the push mower and when we finished we came in and sat down had a popsicle and watched some TV. All the kids went to bed and I was still watching animal planets cop show and I had a certain feeling of dread come over me. I pushed it away until the next day. Monday I started spotting blood. I figured maybe it was from mowing the lawn and took it easy for a day.
Damien and I decided on names. Moira Elinor for a girl and Tadhg Joseph for a boy. We went to bed, I was cramping a bit but had not a worry about it.
I woke up about 3 the next morning really uncomfortable but just squirmed around for a bit until hubby woke up. I started cramping really bad about 4:30. I was worried so I checked my cervix, there was blood. I have been practicing NFP for 10 years, blood at the cervix is great if you're expecting your period not if you are pregnant. I told hubby if it didn't stop I was calling the doctor around 9. I didn't know how pointless that comment was yet. About 5:30 the cramping changed. By 6 I was having contractions. I kept telling hubby I hurt really bad. I think sometimes he forgets how high my threshold for pain is. I sat rubbing my belly thinking this wasn't happening. I was just quiet.
By 7 I went to the bathroom and felt the amniotic sac pop out. Then a short bit later I delivered the baby in the bathtub still in the amniotic sac. I barely remember getting in the tub and by that time hubby had sent the kids out of the room because the moment my hand brushed across the sack I was screaming. It took no time at all and there was blood everywhere. I rinsed the sack the baby came out in off and when I saw him, curled up in fetal position, for some reason, I thought he was drowning in the sack so I tore it open. He was the length of my hand. I was in such a fog. I saw his eyes staring straight up. I saw his mouth wide open and that it was like his sister Saoirse's and brother Eamon's. I saw that he was bluish gray. I picked him up, laid him in a paper towel and Damien came in to help me get dressed. He had been calling to me from out of the bedroom what did he need to do. All I could think of was for him to call his mother.
I got dressed and asked them to find a baby blanket. I thought I had till December so we couldn't find one. I wrapped him in a pink pillow case and held him in my hands on the way to the hospital. On the way I called Dawn and she prayed with me. Then I called my sister. She heard my voice and asked me what was wrong and I told her the same thing I had told Dawn, I've had the baby in the bathtub and it's a boy. He is gone. I can't remember everything on the way there; I was just screaming.
We finally got to the hospital emergency entrance I hung up with Amy and Damien went in to get someone, got frustrated that the were taking too long. When they came out they took Sean and I said, "Don't burn my son". Some of them looked shocked by that, I can't figure why. I can't be the only one who has requested that. I got to my room and told them he was born in the sac, they looked at me funny.
While I was being hooked up with a little heart rate thing on my finger and a blood pressure cuff, they looked him over then took him out I told them again not to burn him. ...
... The attending doctor came in asked me who my doctor was and I told him. He said he was so sorry for our loss and I said so are we. The nurse came in to put my IV in and I asked her if they would be able to tell me what happened. She went on about how the fetus is too small and they don't do autopsies for abortions that happen this early but that he did look about 16 weeks gestation. She then began telling me how it was probably a good thing my body had aborted because when they have something wrong with the fetus and the pregnancy keeps going ... I cut her off and said I would have kept him and loved him anyways, he is my son. You would have thought she would have gotten the message but she seemed to have a point to make.
They told me since he was born in the sac, I didn't need surgery and since the bleeding slowed down, I could go home. The attending doctor told me that because of the laws of the state they couldn't release the baby for 48 hours and asked me if we wanted DNA testing done. Explained that they do it usually if you have had repeated miscarriages but that it was entirely up to me. We didn't do it. We figured something neurological had happened since he had never really kicked. Something between his brain and his body wasn't working, I was sick. We had both tried our best, him trying to get here and me trying to get him here but we didn't make it.
The nurse, as she was taking out my IV asked how many we wanted and we tried to be positive. We told her we didn't know how many but we did know they make 15-passenger vans. She then took it upon herself to tell us, very seriously, that she had been the youngest of 13 and by the time she came along her parents had no time for her, that she was just another person in the house. My husband said something about how [our kids] played with each other and they kidnapped the babies as soon as they were old enough to sit up and watch cartoons. I agreed that yes we had to snatch them back for feedings and lovin'. Truth be told if I had had access to a tray or a bed pan she would have went home with bruises that day. I just wanted her to stop talking and if she had said the word abortion again I would have hit her.
We started on our way home and Damien got me something to eat real fast and went into the store to pick up some things for the kids to eat that I wouldn't have to get up to make. I make everything from scratch usually and never realized how expensive readymade foods were or how quickly they were gone.
My mother-in-law, who had come after we left for the hospital, was waiting for us outside with the kids. The kids were asking me if the baby could get a second chance and why did I have him so early. Corrin, my little manly man and big brother to all but his older sister, couldn't stop crying. The kids were hoping for another girl, Saoirse was sure the baby was a girl, but they wanted him all the same. My mother in law left. Hubby cleaned out the bathroom, which was covered in blood. I laid down and alternated between sleeping and crying. There was nothing else for me to do.
Wednesday I packed up the baby stuff I still had from Eamon into a box Damien had gotten me. Sadly enough, I had bagged up all the baby clothes I had and Freecycled them the month before I found out I was pregnant, so there wasn't much to box up.
Ate a bit and called my church. They have never been of any use before, right down to having my confession refused every time I have asked. I figured it was a long shot to get anyone on the phone never mind get them to listen to me and help me. For the first time my expectation of nothing was wrong. A deacon from my church called me back and told me how sorry he was that this had happened and immediately began calling people. He got ahold of the Lazarus Foundation which gave him the number for Calvary Cemetery in Nashville who I was to call. I called them and they had me call a funeral home which gave small white caskets for children and those who died before birth. The cemetery donated the plot for Sean. I had to go the next morning and sign the papers for the funeral home to come get Sean. The paper said Release of Tissue. What a God-awful thing to read. I asked if I could see him and they pretty much ignored me.
My sister came over the next morning and we talked about our children. I told her I had some comforts. I got to see him whole and without ever a drop of blood on him. She was not so lucky. We talked about heaven and what family members were there taking care of them. About how her daughter isn't alone. We discussed her son being mad at God and the questions my children had asked me when I got home. I told her that though Sean only lived in my womb for 16 weeks and I had been here for going on 32 years he knew so much more now than I would ever know in my lifetime. I still don't like hearing that he is in a better place. That place is not in my womb and will never be again. I will never give him a Christmas present or celebrate his birthday. All those things we were thinking about are gone now. The first steps I will see of his will be the few he takes as I run to him in heaven. I wonder what his first words to me will be. I have to wait so long to hear them. For him it will be the blink of eye, but for me it seems like it will be forever.
I got the kids ready to go and about noon we left for the cemetery. It was raining pretty hard. We couldn't see 10 feet in front of us and it was Friday the 13th. When we got to the cemetery I went in and asked where we needed to go to see him and they looked confused. I was told by the lady I had talked to that if I wanted to see him before we buried him that I had to be there early. I told the gentleman this and he called the funeral home to ask them what was going on and put me on the phone. I told him the same thing and he tried to discourage me from seeing him. I wanted to see him without blood all around. I wanted to see him without the haze of panic that I had been in. He saw that I was determined and told me that he would unseal the casket and take him out of the jar of liquid they had out him in at the hospital and put him in the things I had sent for him. I didn't want my son burned with medical garbage. I didn't want him put into the ground in a glass jar and unclothed as if no one gave a damn about him. He was too small for clothes, I knew he would be, so I made him a small lace blanket out of his sister's First Communion gown. He had been sitting in a jar for the past two days.
I asked Damien if he wanted to see him and he said no. So Amy and I went over to the van when it pulled up and I took the little lace cover I had made for him off. I was so glad I did. I filled in the picture I had of him with reality. My son's eyelids were there and partially closed instead of wide open eyes staring into nothing. His limbs were still bunched up from being in the jar but I knew over the next few days they would relax as he began to go back to dust. I ran my finger along his face, his head was already smaller than it was when he was born and sunk into the tiny hat I made for him. I ran my pinky along hims tiny arm and lifted his hand up. His tiny little fingers spread over my pinky fingertip and I just held it for a moment. that was the only moment of peace I had this whole week. I put my finger tip on his foot and noticed he had the man feet of my three sons that came before him [as well as] his daddy. His tiny button nose looked as though he could have been born tomorrow, only bigger. I pulled his blankie up over him and went back to my husband. I needed to see him. Before they laid his body in the cold dark ground. It wasn't long enough to take everything in. It would have never been long enough.
We drove up to the area where he was to be buried and found a tent set up for us. We got out of the van and went to sit down. We were still waiting for my mother in law when the deacon showed up to do the ceremony. Once she got there my deacon began to speak about how heaven was a home for our child and how we don't separate from people when there is tragedy we come together and laid his hand on mine and my mother-in-law's hands and mine and my husband's. My mother in law and I don't generally hold hands and wont likely do it again after everything has settled down. But for that moment we were all together. He spoke of how valuable it was to have someone so close to God, though I do feel it is a great burden to ask anything of someone so young. I ask only that he pray for us that we are able to make it without him. Deacon Ken blessed the grave and all of us. He ended with an old Irish prayer which my husband appreciated. It seemed appropriate.
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
From my hand to God's. What else can I do for him? He is my littlest boy. We plan to buy something so we can put flowers at his grave but beyond that it is just healing and working to get to Heaven to be with him. I don't know what else to do.
[Many thanks to Josephine for allowing me to share her story. - Dawn]
"To watch 'Sex and the City' is to understand how pernicious is the mistrust between men and women, how deep are our resentments toward each other, how skewed our desires and expectations. Calling it a "fantasy" is a denial of its real power, and its real limitation - to offer women the experience of all the joys, and all of the moral turpitude, of treating others as objects to be used."
Reader L. tipped me to the op-ed and writes that Millner is a young feminist columnist. I am impressed that she would call out the film's objectification of men so boldly. She starts with a different angle than I do in my own take on the film and TV show, "Sex and the Kiddies," and yet we meet in the same place.
My friend Rebecca Ross, a middle-school science teacher in New York City, where there are currently seven school days left in the year, writes:
While standing in the office sorting papers this afternoon, one of my boys—I'll call him Tyrone—came wandering in. We were chatting quietly while I counted papers. I suddenly felt that "I just need to be and hang with a big person for a while" vibe from him.
Out of nowhere he says, "You're tough for a teacher, Ms. Ross."
I smiled to myself, 'Is that a good thing or a bad thing, Tyrone?"
"A good thing. Well, it can be both depending on how you use it. But you don't hit kids. So, for you, it's a good thing."
Yes, I suppose it is ...
... and hey, he realized that something can be good or bad depending on its use. Critical thinking, yeah!
Next "Wuz" postponed again 'til Wednesday a.m.. as I've been busy editing a guest post from Josephine that, with her consent, will go up tomorrow. I also didn't want my own story to take away attention from hers; when hers goes up, you'll see why.
Planned Parenthood does Charleston A guest post by KATHY SCHMUGGE
Charleston, South Carolina, is vibrant and bustling with life. It is known for its southern hospitality, which includes good food and friendly people. But a new business is planning to add its name to the city's famous rows of pastel-colored buildings, and "life" is not the word for what it brings.
In April, a local reporter broke the story about Planned Parenthood Health Systems Inc.'s December 31 , 2007, purchase of 200 Rutledge Ave. for $1.25 million, verified by the Charleston County Auditor’s office records. PPHSINC’s annual report also shows a photo of the property with the caption, “”Our future Charleston, SC health center will begin providing medical care in 2008." Plans for the center fit with Planned Parenthood's recent strategy of building high-volume abortion mills.
An ecumenical effort has begun linking people from all faiths who oppose Planned Parenthood and want to inform the public about their concerns with Planned Parenthood coming to Charleston. Since the grassroots coalition found out about Planned Parenthood’s purchase of the building on 200 Rutledge Ave., people have gathered at the site in peaceful protest and prayer on Saturday from 9:30 a.m. to 11 a.m. or various times during the week.
All people of life are encouraged to pray and try to gain support from neighboring businesses and politicians to provide a better alternative to women in crisis, such as Lowcountry Crisis Pregnancy Center, (843) 553-3505, and Birthright of Charleston, (843) 556-4403.
Consider writing South Carolina U.S. Sens. Jim DeMint and Lindsey Graham, Gov. Mark Sanford, and Charleston Mayor Joseph Riley of Charleston to voice your concerns. You can also contact South Carolina Citizens for Life for ways to make a difference.
"I wanted to disclose a few things I have learned during my time at GW," writes Ally Pregulman, who just completed her sophomore year at George Washington University, in the D.C. college's student paper.
Among them:
On why one should "always use a condom":
"I have a friend who takes birth control and stopped using condoms to 'see what it feels like.' So far she has been lucky, but I don't want to be the one to take her to Planned Parenthood. The abortion clinics in D.C. have the most protesters because of their location - you don't want to be harassed while taking care of an unplanned situation. If you have a late night need and you're out of supplies, you can hit up D.C. Snacks. You get free condoms with every purchase."
On the importance of getting sexually transmitted diseases treated promptly at Health Services:
"I know its uncomfortable, but you don't want to sit on the bench too long;get tested and get your head back in the game. Plus, they have free condoms."
On using college as a time to "try new things":
"Ask your girl to bring over a copy of Cosmopolitan. There's always a list of 100 things you've never tried or even thought existed. If you're feeling really adventurous, pick up the Karma Sutra [sic] and learn about ancient civilizations."
Would any wise readers care to kindly educate Pregulman on unforeseen consequences to her advice? Emphasis on "kindly"—your comments are invited below.
Archbishop O'Brien speaks about his letter to the Legion of Christ
Baltimore Archbishop Edward O'Brien last week issued a letter demanding "greater accountability and transparency" from the Legion of Christ and its lay arm, Regnum Christi. John Allen Jr. has more in a National Catholic Reporter article that includes an interview with the Archbishop.
Some highlights from the interview:
_______________ Can you describe what led you to issue this letter?
When I came into the archdiocese, I was told by our Vicar General that there had been a long series of exchanges between the cardinal and the locals of the Legionaries about programs going on in the archdiocese that our pastors didn’t know about, didn’t know the extent of them, didn’t know the nature of them. There were seemingly heavily persuasive methods used on young people, high schoolers especially, regarding vocations. ...
... They sponsor father/son weekends. The father drives 14 hours, brings the kid up to New Hampshire and drops the kid off at 11:00 at night. Where’s the farther going to stay? Well, there’s a place about 40 miles away you can stay, so the father’s sleeping in the car overnight. Next day they’re ready for the hike, but no, the fathers don’t go, it’s just the counselors and the kids. That’s the tendency.
Who’s in charge of this? Who’s responsible? Each time you meet with an official, [they say], 'Oh, no, that didn’t happen, did it? You should have let us know right away. That’s not right.' But it happens over and over again.
Are these activities organized by Regnum Christi?
Regnum Christi, yes. I’m really talking about Regnum Christi all the way through here. To what extent the priests are involved … the Legionaries of Christ are a religious order. My thought is that where lay people are involved, it’s called Regnum Christi. The priests are there for spiritual direction. Who’s setting the agenda? Obviously the priests are, but they’re very clever with their organization. They have several different corporations, and we can’t figure out which is which. As far as property goes, responsibility for various organizations, the Legionaries stay pretty far away on the books, though practically speaking they’re very much involved.
There’s a lack of transparency, as I’ve called it. I’ve met some extraordinarily fine members of Regnum Christi. They’ll talk about what had happened before they met Regnum Christi. Every priest they went to, they got a different story about what the church taught, and then finally they got it [from the Legionaries]. What they’re hearing usually is right. But it’s the tactics that get you. The question is, will some of these very good people be disenchanted someday? For that matter, should they be disenchanted now? Do they know all the facts? I don’t know. I’m not in there to break up Regnum Christi, I’m in there just to see that Regnum Christi is as accountable as every other group should be to the ordinary of the diocese. ...
... I’ve always suspected the flaws in the organization are endemic to it. There’s no remedying them, because it’s so deeply ingrained. There’s a sense of secrecy right from the seminary. The seminarians move two-by-two wherever they go. If one criticizes anything about the institution, the other one has to report it. … All this flows into Regnum Christi as well. Nothing happens in Regnum Christi without the Legionaries.
I had been thinking that this endemic, but this [the letter and the Legionaries’ response] will prove the case. I hope I’m wrong. I hope they can be at ease in working with the ordinary of the diocese, before the ordinary has to come in and say ‘I don’t want you in my archdiocese at all,’ as [St. Paul] Archbishop Flynn did. ___________________
Archbishop O'Brien also speaks of how the Regnum Christi members he met were clearly acting out of a strong desire to do good works:
_____________ I also met, however, with ten active members of Regnum Christi. I was deeply impressed. I had known Legionaries and Regnum Christi members in passing, but this meeting was my first formal get-together. It lasted almost two hours, and I could see the anxiety, the tension, they have. They want to be faithful to the church and to the bishop, but they are also so deeply grateful and involved in the good works they see Regnum Christ[i] doing. _________________
I too have seen this good will in individual members of Regnum Christi and Legionaries priests. At the same time, on an organizational level, the need for transparency and accountability within the group (as with all groups operating within the Church) is essential, particularly in light of its actions that the archbishop describes.
Please be charitable to one another in your comments, especially as I will not be able to moderate them as often as usual this weekend.
Happy Feast of St. Anthony of Padua! Have you a tale to tell about the intercession of the man known to his peers as the Hammer of Heretics and known to moderns as the patron saint of lost articles (or simply "Tony")?
"We read in the life of Blessed Henry Suso, a Dominican friar, that in his eagerness to possess Wisdom, he often offered himself to undergo any torment in return for his friendship. One day he said to himself, 'Do you not know that lovers endure suffering upon suffering for the sake of the one they love? For them wakeful nights are pleasant, fatigue is delightful, labour is restful, once they are assured that the one they love is pleased and grateful. If men go to such lengths to please a mere mortal, are you not ashamed to show weakness in your resolve to obtain Wisdom? No, eternal Wisdom, I will never falter in my love for you, even though I have to plunge through thicket and bush to reach you, even though I have to undergo a thousand torments in body and soul. I will always prize your friendship more than anything else on earth and you will always have the first place in my affections.'
"While travelling a few days later, he fell into the hands of robbers who beat him so unmercifully that they themselves could not help pitying him. Seeing himself in such a state, Henry Suso forgot his resolution to be brave no matter what might happen and gave way to deep depression, weeping and wondering why God had afflicted him in this way. As he pondered over his plight, he fell asleep. Early next morning he heard a voice reproaching him, 'Look at this warrior of mine. He can scale mountains, climb over rocks, break into strongholds, cut to pieces his enemies when everything is going right for him. But when he meets with adversity his courage fades and he is helpless and useless. In time of consolation he is a fierce lion, but in time of tribulation he is a timid deer. Wisdom does not share his friendship with such faint-hearted cowards.' At this reprimand, Blessed Henry confessed he was wrong in giving way to excessive discouragement, and went on to ask divine Wisdom to allow him to weep and so unburden his heart weighed down by grief. 'No,' replied the voice, 'all the saints in heaven would lose their respect for you,. were you to cry like a baby or a woman. Wipe away your tears and show the world a cheerful face.'
"The cross, then, is the portion and reward of those who desire or already possess eternal Wisdom. But our loving Saviour numbers, weighs and measures everything and sends crosses to his friends in proportion to their strength, and tempers them with divine unction to such an extent that their hearts are filled with joy."
Was going to compose Part 31 of the autobiographical "Wuz" series this morning, but got caught up in other things. It's written in my head, but will now have to wait until the end of the weekend, as I'm leaving today for a trip back to NYC, where I will have the pleasure of attending my first-ever Jesuit ordination.
I've already attended Dominican and diocesan ordinations this season, both of which were beautiful. Looking forward to sharing in yet another such ceremony and having the opportunity to compare and contrast the different styles of liturgies.
What book would you buy for someone who likes to read contemporary New Age-style self-help bestsellers, if you wanted to introduce that person to the Good News?
Half a century ago, the answer would have been Fulton J. Sheen's Peace of Soul. However, I need a book for someone who prefers mass-market books from the past five years or so (the newer, the better) and would not read anything with Jesus' name in the title.
Please pray for my friend M.'s mother. She had major heart surgery yesterday and is hovering on the brink of death. M. writes, "We pretty much need all the [prayer] help we can get at this point."
UPDATE, June 13: I'm very sorry to write that M.'s mother has passed away. Prayers needed for the family now.
[Continued from Part 29—picking up from the morning of October 24, 1999:]
"Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling," writes Paul to the Phillipians, "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."
That was how I felt that morning, the first time I ever woke up with faith in Jesus, and really the first time I ever burned with the inner knowledge that God cared about me and was in me. Something had happened to me, a fundamental change in my makeup. It had happened in an instant—and now the task was mine to work it out, to allow it to unfold, and to try to understand what was happening.
For once, I was not trying to work myself up into a feeling of faith. The foundation of faith had risen overnight, seemingly on its own, without my having to painstakingly build it up—though I knew I had invited it by asking Jesus to come into my heart. This new presence of faith—and the word "new" should appear here in neon lights, for it was the only truly new thing I had ever experienced in my life—existed in the form of understanding, just as I had heard in those mysterious words, "Some things are not meant to be known. Some things are meant to be understood."
I understood God's presence as though He had touched me and had left a fingerprint. I couldn't see Him, but I felt the indentation He had made upon me, and it infused my life with new meaning and substance. During the coming weeks, John's words described to me this new feeling I was experiencing—a delicious uncertainty resting paradoxically upon the wildest hope: "Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be ..."
That was the part that really struck me, the fascination of both not knowing and not needing to know, because of trusting as I never had before, as John went on: "... but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is."
* * *
For the next few days, I found myself in a neither-here-nor-there state. Lewis Carroll describes something like it in Sylvie and Bruno as an "eerie state," halfway between the material and spiritual world, able to function in each but without fully belonging to either.
I had a strong sense that, having prayed the Sinner's Prayer the night before, I had received in return an indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It felt as though the Holy Spirit was leading me, quite literally—as though it were pulling me by the top of my head and showing me where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do, at every moment.
The sensation was simultaneously exhilarating and humiliating. I felt as though I could almost reach the stars, yet I was conscious that I could do nothing on my own power. Following the Spirit's lead required submission. One moment that sticks in my head is when, having returned from my mother's and stepfather's home in the 'burbs to my Hoboken apartment, I asked the Spirit what was going on. Was I supposed to be a Robot for Jesus?
It didn't answer in words, but I had the strong sensation that I was being emptied in some mysterious way, and I had to trust that the new me that was being drawn inside the old lines would retain some semblance of personality. That was a relief, as I was really afraid of losing myself. At the same time, I felt strongly that my will's consent was essential to the entire process. If I didn't want to continue, I could stop at any time and the "eerie" feeling would disappear—but I didn't want to do that. The movie had begun, and if I walked out, I would never know its ending. Surely any ending would be better than the one I had been living out for so long—the downward spiral that felt not so much like living but like an ongoing death without hope of final rest.
[To be continued tomorrow morning. To see all entries in the series, click the "Wuz" label below.]
Terrifically exciting news! I heard today from the editor of a Catholic magazine in Australia who invited me to speak at World Youth Day in Sydney next month. Waiting on confirmation, but thought I'd give a heads-up to Australian readers and anyone else who will be there. I'll post more details as they emerge.
St. Denis at Notre Dame in Paris, minus not only his head, but also his "head halo" (which you can see, along with extra blood, in the item linked below).
"It is interesting to note, then, that the icon of St. Denis [a more gory version of which appears on Sparrow's post] depicts halos around both his severed head and over the stump on his body where the head was formerly attached, as if to reiterate the theological truth that the Bishop-Martyr of Paris was not only holy in mind and spirit, but in body as well. It is this particularly Catholic reference back to the body that might lead others to think of us as having a taste for the macabre, with our relics (e.g. St. Catherine of Siena's head) and our Crucifixes, which starkly depict the Man who gave himself over to death for the forgiveness of sins. We need constant reminders that our humanity entails being embodied, that our bodies are ourselves, and not merely our possessions to do with as we please. ... [Read the whole thing.]
"For most of my life, there have been two certainties about Valentine's Day: I will not have a date, and my father will send me a jumbo box of chocolates. ..."
So began my Valentine's Day op-ed that appeared last year in National Review Online, on what my dad taught me about love. Thought I'd link to it again, as it's apropos with Father's Day approaching.
Father Sharbel Francis Mary Hayward F.I.—that stands for Franciscans of the Immaculate of Perth, Australia—whose beautiful poetry has appeared here before, sends another of his works as he prepares to fly back to his native land:
Forgotten Not
Flowing forward to the hour
When farewell we cry,
Fears fade as dawn awakes
To shine and never die.
Down the tears in silence flow
Merged both joy and pain,
Soaring high the soul aloft
Below a vessel lain.
In peaceful bliss forgotten not
Love's kin upon the sea,
A prayer to guide and safely keep
On course and bended knee.
All in day and all in night
How different all does seem,
Treasures rare await the Love
That bled so to redeem.
Father Sharbel, who has been stationed at the F.I. mission in New Bedford, Mass., makes his flight back to Australia Thursday, where he will be Mission Superior according to the order's Web site. I wrote to him that I would pray for traveling mercies. He replied with typical Down Under humor, "My idea of traveling mercies would be an upgrade as I am 6'3"...but then again it might look strange for a Franciscan to be in the fancy section of the plane." That it would—but please do pray for Father Sharbel and his fellow F.I.'s, who claim St. Maximilian Kolbe as their patron.
This is the last part of the talk on the "Our Father" from the DVD set "A Family Retreat with Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen." I love the straightforward way he had of expressing deep truths. God love you!
Please pray for a Dawn Patrol reader and commenter who just lost a baby. We have never met, but have spoken in the past. She called me today on her way to the hospital and was in great distress. I know that whenever she returns to read my blog, it would comfort her to know that readers are praying for her. Thank you.
UPDATE, 3:48 p.m.: The mom, Josephine, writes in a comment:
"Damien and I are home from the hospital. He is beyond himself and I am not doing to great emotionally. We had a fairly compassionate doctor attending us but a clueless nurse who seemed to think telling me what a good thing I lost the baby was, since there was probably something wrong with him. We decided to call him Sean Aaron. I was 16 weeks and so was he so I probably lost him within the last few days.
"I may register him with the shrine of the innocents. But for now I am going to comfort and cuddle the 6 I have here with me and go back to bed.
"Thanks for the prayers. Especially for the kids. They go from playing to crying. They don't know what to do with all of this.
"I have watched impure souls mad for physical love but turning what they know of such love into a reason for repentance and transferring that same capacity for love to the Lord. I have watched them master fear so as to drive themselves unsparingly towards the love of God. That is why, when talking of that chaste harlot, the Lord does not say, 'because she feared,' but rather, 'because she loved much,' she was able to drive out love with love."
— St. John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent, step 5.
My friend Matthew has posted beautiful photos and video clips of the first Tridentine Solemn High Mass in the Crypt Church of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in some 40 years.
Newly ordained Father Jonathan Romanoski FSSP chants the Pater Noster (Our Father) in the Crypt Church last Saturday.
ScienceDaily (Jun. 2, 2008) - Images of sexy women tend to whet men's sexual appetite. But stimulating new research in the Journal of Consumer Research says there's more than meets the eye. A recent study shows that men who watched sexy videos or handled lingerie sought immediate gratification-even when they were making decisions about money, soda, and candy.
After exposure to sexy images, men tend to choose smaller immediate rewards over larger rewards that must be postponed. In other words, arousal biases men against delayed gratification.
More from the summary:
"It seems that sexual appetite causes a greater urgency to consume anything rewarding," the authors suggest. Thus, the activation of sexual desire appears to spill over into other brain systems involved in reward-seeking behaviors, even the cognitive desire for money. ...
The authors believe the stimuli bring men’s minds to the present as opposed to the future. "The study demonstrates that bikinis cause a shift in time preference: Men live in the here and now when they glance at pictures featuring women in lingerie. That is, men will choose the immediately available rewards and seek immediate gratification after sex cue exposure."
On reading this, my first three reactions were: 1. It’s obvious. 2. I wish marketers didn’t know it. 3. Isn’t there anything better for scientists to do than showing bikini pictures to male volunteers? They haven’t yet perfected the lawn-mowing robot or the self-driving car, you know.
I showed the article to a colleague, who made a much more mature observation: This research provides a scientific basis for modesty. I wish to explore that angle here.
At the very least, these findings reveal the inner workings of "sex sells" marketing. Ads containing sex cues shorten men’s time horizons, making it more difficult for them to choose in line with their long term interests.
Learning to delay gratification is an important life skill, one that children must learn if they are to be mature adults capable of loving relationships. Advertising using sex appeal complicates the learning and practice of that skill. It feeds our immediate gratification culture, with its indifference to history, philosophy and much of our cultural inheritance.
Advertising that appeals to sex relies on a biological trick. It bypasses our deliberative conscious minds and manipulates us on the basis of factors we cannot control. It thus precludes any real human relationship between the people at the sending and receiving ends of the message. (The philosophically inclined may recognize that it violates Kant's command to treat humanity always as an end in itself, that is, with respect for man’s rational nature.)
These ideas seem quaint, I know. Human relationships in commerce. Respect for people’s rational decision making capacity, rather than their irrational predilections. Treating customers as fellow citizens, not as spenders of money. Rejection of all of these quaint ideas is summed up in the reduction of the client/customer to a "consumer."
I recall being told that all advertising these days relies on nonrational manipulation of memory, sex drive, etc. I do not dispute it, but I lament it. It is sign of fundamental hostility between members of society. It is the mark of an unhealthy culture.
Was it always so? Modesty, when it was culturally normative, had a purpose. It made certain valuable cultural goods easier to realize. It made delayed gratification easier to learn when we are young, and easier to practice when we are grown. This research gives us one more reason for holding on to the remnants of a culture of modesty.
Christopher Anadale is Assistant Professor of Philosophy at Conception Seminary College in Conception, Missouri.
"The floor was hard, and the particular angle of my knees was such that the floor seemed to be digging into me. The line of priests was long, and many of the priests, when placing their hands on my head for prayer, added just a little bit of pressure, just a little bit of pushing down, as they prayed. It wasn't much. It was just a little. But my knees noticed it. After 10 or eleven went by, and there seemed to be many more still to come, I began repeating to myself: 'Priesthood is about the cross. Priesthood is about the cross. Priesthood is about the cross.' The last priest in the line had actually grown up down the street from me and my brothers and his dad had been Scoutmaster when I was a kid.
"But then it turned out he wasn't the last priest. All the priests had gone back to their places, but one was still making his way down. He couldn’t move very quickly. Every step involved pushing a metal walker forward, and then taking a step-and-a-half and pushing the walker forward again. I happen to know that diabetes has wrecked this man’s feet and legs, and every step for him is a painful thing. If I thought my knees were sore at that moment, it couldn't have been anything like the struggle of this priest to work his way down to the front of the altar."
— Father Dennis Schenkel, newly ordained priest of the Diocese of Memphis, describes the laying on of hands at his ordination Saturday. Read the whole thing. And Loyola Press, if you're still reading, this is one for The Best Catholic Writing 2008.
Sydney Morning Herald contributor Samantha "Ask Sam" Brett writes in her latest column, "For some strange reason, and despite the amount of data on the subject, a common question I still get asked is whether a female reader should sleep with a new guy on the first date."
Although Brett doesn't believe in saving sex for marriage, she makes some worthy observations, including that the biochemistry of sex puts women in particular at risk of emotional fallout from casual sex. In making her point, she quotes favorably from my Sunday Times of London piece from January 2007, "Casual sex is a con," which I later expanded upon for Canada's National Post.
It was my joy to witness the ordination of my friend and fellow blogger Dennis Schenkel to the priesthood on Saturday at the Diocese of Memphis's Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. The photo above by Mike Maple illustrates the story about Father Dennis's ordination in the Commercial Appeal daily newspaper. I expect some more photos in the coming days from Dennis's Uncle Jim. In the meantime, do stop by the new priest's blog and congratulate him, and please pray for all our priests and seminarians, especially the newly ordained.
Stories like this put the social injustice of mandatory government financing for abortion and euthanasia into disturbing perspective. In effect, it's not really about giving the poor "access." It's about making it easier for them to disappear. The rich have the means to support their own lives, while to the poor it is given to kill their unborn or themselves for free.
RELATED: Kudos to the New York Times for its obituary of Harriet McBryde Johnson. Born with a severely disabling degenerative neuromuscular disease, Johnson publicly challenged Princeton University professor Peter Singer over his advocating killing handicapped newborns.
Today's InsideCatholic features a column I wrote about how "a prominent academic is pursuing taxpayer funding for a type of stem-cell research using human egg cells that has sparked heated debate among Catholic ethicists. And, to hear him tell it, he's got the ear of Sen. John McCain."
"So, if there were no dating stories [in the 'Sex and the City' film], what was going on? Lots of brutally painful relationship stories along with talk about fashion. In other words, it was guy hell. We could put that movie on constant rotation at Gitmo and within a couple of days, the terrorists there would be begging to be waterboarded just to get away from their TV screens.
"At about the 40 minute mark, I was ready to gouge my eyes out with my thumbs to stop the pain and that's when I remembered that the movie ran a full two hours and twenty minutes. Furthermore, I couldn't leave because I had to discuss the movie in this column. At that point, if they had cyanide capsules at the concession stand, I might have bought a handful.
"Later that night, after calling some female friends who were big fans of the show, I found out that it got much more relationship-oriented in the later seasons. Had I only known, I would have just written column #47 on Barack Obama instead of spending more than two hours of my life in that Prada nightmare.
"If you want a quick review of the movie, it's easy to give you one in less than five words. For women it's, 'Relationship stuff. You'll love it!' and for men, it's just 'Run!'"
— John Hawkins, from "A Man's View of Sex and the City," in today's TownHall.com. I'm grateful to John for the very kind shout-out in his column, though I wish I could take back the uncharacteristically nasty comment I made long ago about the SATC characters that leads off his piece.
Congratulations to reader Gail Finke, whose name was picked from yesterday's commenters by Loyola Press publicist Michelle Halm as the winner of a copy of Father James Martin S.J.'s My Life with the Saints.
Canon fodder Selections from Father James Martin's answers to readers' questions
Father Martin's writings during yesterday's Dawn Patrol stop on his "Saints in Cyberspace" tour are too good to languish in the comments section. Here are some highlights:
Dawn had asked me, by way of leading off, to talk about a wonderful quote by St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, whose feast day we celebrate on June 26. ""The world admires only spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of sacrifice that is hidden and silent."
I couldn't agree more! In fact, one chapter in my book My Life with the Saints is called "Hidden Lives," and speaks at length about the "hidden life" of Christ, and, also, of St. Joseph, whose life still remains mysterious to us. Joseph, who is given no lines to speak in the whole New Testament, leads a life of hidden holiness and sacrifice. And yet it was one of the most important lives in human history. Though we know next to nothing about Joseph, we know that Jesus must have learned much from his foster father, when Jesus was a young boy, and as the two worked together in the carpentry shop at Nazareth. Along the way, Jesus must have learned from his foster father much about what it meant to be a good person, what it meant to be a good Jew, and what it meant to worship and serve God the father. As one theologian said, in Nazareth, Jesus becomes the "instrument most needed for the salvation of the world." Joseph was a big part of that fashioning of that instrument.
As St. Josemaria says, these humble ways of being holy--the mother or father who cares for their children, the son or daughter who cares for their aging parent, the priest who cares for his parish--are often not celebrated by the world.
But I believe that for their very humility, and for their hiddenness, they are all the more valued by God.
* * *
[On what the saints can teach us about the value of chastity:]
Well, the saints who lived lives of chastity, including priests and religious, have a lot to teach the larger community--not just priests and religious--about chastity. One of my favorite examples of this is Pope John XXIII. Now here is a person who has lived his entire life as a chaste man, yet was one of the most loving men you can imagine. Here was a man who, by the end of his life, was almost universally loved as a sort of kindly grandfather. His life, and the lives of so many of the saints, show that chastity, which is really about the right use of our sexuality, in whatever state of life we are, is all about love. And whenever people doubt the value of chastity or celibacy, or say that it makes you into a cold person, I always point them to Jesus. Was there ever anyone as loving?
* * *
[On why saints' statues have been removed from many churches:]
You know I wonder about that, too. I think the lack of statues is a reflection of a kind of post-Vatican II misunderstanding of the saints as more or less irrelevant to our lives. But as I've discovered in my own life, and by speaking with others, they are among the most important parts of the rich tradition of the Catholic church. So I'm all for more statues.
Funny story: I came across a statue of a saint in a church who I didn't recognize. I asked the pastor who it was, and he said, "Oh it's really St. Francis, but we needed a St. Dominic so we painted him over in a Dominican habit!"
As for the candle, one of my favorite spots in Lourdes are the booths for candles, where carved into the metal shed it says: "This flame continues my prayer."
* * *
[A reader asks how to be a good witness to his parents, noting, "I don't want to merely win the debate - I want to inspire them."]
Actually, I think you’ve already put your finger on the answer in your question. You probably won’t be able to win this “debate” question with them, especially if they are suspicious of religion, or at least of your own expression of your faith. Best of all, as I mentioned to another reader, is to follow St. Ignatius Loyola's advice that “Love shows itself in actions more than words.” (Or the more ancient expression, "See how they love one another.")
Of course remember that it’s a holy desire to want to inspire them, but it also needs to be said that if you are 1,000 miles away that might call for more creative ways of inspiring them. So for example: long-distance support when they are in trouble; thoughtful notes and gifts for special occasions; always being open to the possibility that they may become over time more disposed to hearing your message. St Ignatius also used to say that one needs to “Go in their door, and come out your door.” Meaning to speak to them in ways they will understand, which may be, in this case, small acts of charity.
But most of all trust that God is working within them through you--even though it may be slowly and gradually. Also trust that God will--even in ways that you are unaware of--inspire them through your faith.
* * *
[A reader writes: "I'm struggling to make a decision about my job which has been at war with my conscience for a long time now. Is there a saint you could recommend that I could maybe read about to help me make my decision?"]
I would suggest reading even a short biography of St. Thomas More, the English martyr, who struggled mightily with questions of conscience. (Richard Marius's biography is especially good, but long). Or read the Trappist monk's Thomas Merton's "Peace in the Post-Christian Era." (Before anyone objects: I know he's not a saint!) In the introduction is the story of how Merton too struggled with his conscience after being silenced by his superiors when he wanted to write about nonviolence and peace. In the end, Merton obeyed his superiors and remained silent: his book was published posthumously. But his discernment is very moving.
Finally, best of all, read the story of Jesus in the Temple at Nazareth (Luke 4:14-30), also "The Rejection in Nazareth." To me, that's a story not only of Jesus's self-revelation, but also one that shows that he preached the truth even when he knew it would get him into trouble. He did it anyway! It's one of my favorite stories to help us embolden ourselves to speak the truth boldly.
MORE: Check out the rest of Father Martin's answers in the comments section of my post welcoming him.
How saints' prayers fit into God's economy of grace
"But notice that St. Elizabeth received the Holy Spirit by means of the Virgin. Certainly we must avail ourselves of her as a mediatrix with her Son in order to obtain this Divine Spirit, and although we can go directly to God and ask for His graces without employing the mediation of the saints for this purpose, nevertheless Divine Providence has not willed that it happen so; but It has formed still another union, for God is One, as I told you from the beginning, and so He loves what is unified. Therefore He has so united the Church Militant with the Church Triumphant that the two make only one, having only one Lord who rules, guides, governs, and nourishes them, though in different ways; thus we address ourselves to Him to ask for our daily bread as much for our bodily needs as for the nourishment required for the soul."
Halo and goodbye Parting thoughts from Father James Martin S.J.
Father Martin sends the following thoughts wrapping up the Dawn Patrol day of his "Saints in Cyberspace" tour:
Many thanks to Dawn for inviting me to spend a wonderful day "visiting" the "Dawn Patrol," and have the chance to meet so many of her readers. Your questions were fascinating, and showed not only your cheerful inquisitiveness, but also your deep love of the church, and of God.
Since a few of your comments cohered around the question of the "presentation" of the saints to Catholics, non-Catholics and non-believers, perhaps I could summarize how I understand the saints' place in our faith.
Essentially, there are two models of devotion to the saints. The model we are probably most familiar with today is the "patron" model, the saints as the one who intercedes for us, who prays for us, who asks God for help on our behalf. ("St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around..."). But the earlier model in the church was the "companion" model, the one who accompanies us along the way to God. Both are models I try to stress in my book My Life with the Saints, because both can help people feel closer to the saints, and therefore feel closer to God. (The saints always point us to God.)
However, for those who are unfamiliar or even suspicious of the saints, it is often better, to begin with the idea of the saint as companion, exemplar or model. A good biography of the saint is the perfect way to do this. Then, as people grow more familiar with the saint, and begin to feel affection for the person, they will usually find themselves praying to that saint spontaneously for help. And for those who stumble on that idea, called intercession, I usually ask, "Have you ever asked a friend on earth to pray for you?" Usually people say "Yes." Then I say, "Well, then why wouldn't your friends in heaven want to do the same for you?"
Again, many thanks to all of you. And please do keep me in your prayers!
Peace,
Father James Martin, SJ
Many thanks to Father Martin for making my blog a stop on his tour and for being so generous with his time and effort. Later tonight, I will post a "best-of" collection of his comments, and tomorrow I'll announce the winner of the raffle. If you missed a chance to query him, his tour continues tomorrow at The Anchoress.
Today, I have the honor of welcoming Father James Martin S.J., author of My Life with the Saints, who is parking himself in the comments section of this post as part of his "Saints in Cyberspace" blog tour.
Since June 26 is the feast day of St. Josemaria Escriva, I'll be starting the conversation with Father Martin with this quote from St. Josemaria, asking his thoughts on both how the quote reflects the spirituality of the founder of Opus Dei and how it might apply to the saints he describes in his book:
"The world admires only spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of sacrifice that is hidden and silent."
Watch the comments section below for Father Martin's response, and then jump right in with your own saint-related questions for him. As always, please be civil; the eyes of the saints (both those within and without the blogosphere) are upon you.
To coincide with the blog tour, Loyola Press is offering a discount on Father Martin's book. Here are details from publicist Michelle Halm: "Regarding the blog tour, please tell your readers that if they order My Life with the Saints during your Fr. Martin Blog tour, they will save 35% on their order if they place it by June 8. They should use marketing code 2682. They can order online at www.loyolabooks.com/martin or call and talk to a real person! 800-621-1008."
Loyola Press is also raffling off an autographed hardcover copy of My Life with the Saints. To enter, leave a comment with a question for Father Martin and include your e-mail address. If you do not have a question or if you would not like to leave your e-mail address, e-mail halm@loyolapress.com today and ask to be entered in the drawing.
This pales in comparison with the other good news I received today, but I got a wonderful surprise when I checked my P.O. box this afternoon: my first-ever royalty check.
In light of the article the Boston Herald published a while back (no longer online, but referenced in Gawker) about publishers' disappointment with bloggers' book sales, I wonder if I may be the only blogger whose first book is in the black. (I say that realizing full well that others with far more successful first books have yet to earn out because they received six-figure book deals.)
For me, the knowledge that Nelson is turning a profit off my book is a vindication of sorts, because I was disappointed recently when the publisher turned down its option for a follow-up. I had proposed to write a relationship-building guide, Saving the Date!, answering the questions I get asked on how to put the ideal of chastity into practice. Unlike other books on chaste courtship, it would be address problems faced by people in the secular world and not just those in a Christian bubble; unlike The Thrill, it would draw upon not only my own experience, but also that of married couples who had courted chastely.
The reasons the publisher cited for turning it down were "the glut of abstinence books" (make of that what you will; I wasn't planning to write 200 pages about abstinence) and the fact that The Thrill did not meet the bean counters' minimum sales goal of 50,000. That it thus far had six English-language printings and two foreign-language translations (soon to be three with the Chinese version) apparently was not enough. Well, that is the nature of the mainstream book biz in the 21st century. Given that popular wisdom has it that "sex sells," not chastity, I was blessed that the book saw publication at all, let alone by the largest Christian publisher, which got it into chain stores and continues to keep it in stock at online retailers such as Amazon.
That's why this check is meaningful to me. Regardless of whether I ever get to write another book of my own—and I hope I will—I can say that my first book qualifies as a success. I may never be on the level of a Max Lucado—one of Nelson's best-selling author—but at least I'm worth my salt and light.
Many thanks to those readers who have supported The Thrill from the beginning, like Jeff Geerling, as well as those who have discovered it since or are just now discovering it, like Abby. Thanks too to everyone who has helped to spread the word, especially Saint Kansas, who designed The Thrill's Web site and sang its theme song, "Subterranean Rome-Chick Blues," and Raving Atheist, who wrote the song's lyrics and directed its video. Here's the clip again, for old time's sake.
No cancer was found in my lymph nodes. What's more, in the remainder of my thyroid that was removed, they found an outbreak of cancer of the same type found in the node they removed in my last operation, and it was, as before, completely contained. So, it turns out to be a very good thing that I went ahead with the second surgery as a precaution.
I am greatly relieved. The only major procedure that remains now is treatment with radioactive iodine next month, to knock out any thyroid tissue remaining in my system. I'm not looking forward to being back in the hospital briefly and being isolated for a few days, but at least the most painful part of the treatment is over. Many thanks again to those who have been praying for me during this time.
"One of the most talked-about scenes in the SATC film that opened last Friday is a thinly veiled satire on how the TV show has attained an under-18 audience without losing its X-rated themes. The four female stars are sitting around the brunch table at their favorite restaurant, where they usually dish salacious bedroom stories, only now Charlotte's 3-year-old daughter is present as well, working on a coloring book.
"When Miranda brings up their favorite topic, Charlotte urges her to watch her language around the child. Carrie saves the day by suggesting they substitute the word 'coloring' for 'sex.'
"Discussing the scene on NBC's Today show last week, Michael Patrick King, who directed and wrote both the film and the TV series, noted with pride, 'That's as dirty as you can get and still be clean.'
"The real dirty little secret of SATC is that the little girls understand."
Tomorrow morning (today, when you read this), my father is going with me as I see the doctor who will give me the pathology results from the completion of my thyroidectomy. (Dad offered to accompany me, as he works down the street from the doctor's office.) As far as I have been able to gather from my doctors, because I had the operation done while I was younger than 45, my statistical chances of survival are the same as a healthy adult no matter what the pathology turns up. Hopefully I'll know more after the appointment. Thanks again for your prayers.
Tonight, over dinner, I was reading Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen's classic newspaper article on "Love Dreams":
Every person carries within his heart a blueprint of the one he loves. What seems to be "love at first sight" is actually the fulfillment of desire, the realization of a dream. Plato, sensing this, said that all knowledge is recollection from a previous existence. This is not true as he states it, but it is true if one understands it to mean that we already have an ideal in us—one which is made by our thinking, our habits, our experiences, and our desire. Otherwise how would we know immediately, on seeing persons or things, that we loved them? Before meeting certain people we already have a pattern and mold of what we like and what we do not like, certain persons fit into that pattern, others do not.
When we hear music for the first time, we either like or dislike it. We judge it by the music we already have heard in our own hearts. Jittery minds which cannot long repose in one object of thought or in continuity of an idea love music which is distracting, excited, and jittery. Calm minds like calm music: the heart has its own secret melody, and one day when the score is played the heart answers, "This is it."
So it is with love. A tiny architect works inside the human heart drawing sketches of the ideal love from the people it sees, from the books it reads, from its hopes and daydreams, in the fond hope that the eye may one day see the ideal and the hand touch it. Life becomes satisfying the moment the dream is seen walking, and the person apt pears as the incarnation of all that one loves. The liking is instantaneous—because, actually, it has been there waiting for a long time.
God, too, has within Himself blueprints of everything in the universe. As the architect has in his mind a plan of the house before the house is built, so God has in His Mind an archetypal idea of every flower, bird, tree, spring time, and melody. There never was a brush touched to canvas nor a chisel to marble without some great preexisting idea. So, too, every atom and every rose is realization and concretion of an idea existing in the Mind of God from all eternity. All creatures below man correspond to the pattern God has in His Mind. A tree is truly a tree because it corresponds to God's idea of a tree. ...[Read the full article.]
I cried reading that, because it made me think about how God has a blueprint of me, and I so want to become His blueprint of the one He loves. I know He loves me as I am, but I want Him to have the joy of seeing me with the beauty that He envisions I would have if I were united to Him the way He wants me to be.
The Dominican author Father Simon Tugwell O.P. writes that "man's desires are, in some extraordinary way, the image of God's desire." When I desire the unseen future love whose blueprint I sense, how much more must God desire me, wanting me to return His love and to expand my heart to fill the lines that He has already created.
Good afternoon, and my thanks to the Dawn Patrol prayer patrol! Recovering well and am going into the office today, so no blogging 'til tonight. Wrote an op-ed offering a different observation on "Sex and the City" than the ones I've offered here; waiting to see if my first choice of publication accepts it.
. However, I need a book for someone who prefers mass-market books from the past five years or so (the newer, the better) and would not read anything with Jesus' name in the title.
