My back pages

Since 2007 was the year I escaped the New York City tabloid world — it seems an appropriate time to look back at some highlights of my headline-writing days.

Here are a few "woods" (front-page heds) I wrote during 2005 and 2006:

This was my one and only front-page doubleheader — both "LEWD JUDE" and "STOCKS AND BLONDES" were mine.



I encapsulated Cheney's apology for his duck-hunting mishap in three words.



A love for early issues of Mad magazine inspired my headline to describe the disappointing film adaptation of "Bewitched."

Not pictured: My New York Post wood, following the Donald's wedding: LADY IS A TRUMP.

New Year's prayin' eve

For the fifth straight year, I'm very happy to keep up the Dawn Patrol tradition of ringing in the New Year by praying for readers' intentions.

If you'd like prayer this New Year's Eve, please leave your request below or e-mail me, dawneden -at- gmail.com (replacing the "-at-" with an atsign). If you don't want to give your name, you can leave an anonymous comment — just put "xxxxx" where the name and e-mail should go, and I'll pray for "the person who left the comment." If you'd rather e-mail me your request but don't want to give your name, I'll likewise pray for "the person who sent the e-mail."

The comments section below is for prayer requests only, please. Thanks and may God bless you in 2008.

Thanks too to reader John Gavin S.J. for reminding me about the tradition — I'd actually forgotten!

The future's so bride

St. Paul advised the Corinthians that "the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away" (1 Corinthians 7:29-31).

Those verses may sound rather mysterious, especially the part about those who have wives being as though they had none. Paul went on to explain: "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord — how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world — how he may please his wife. There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world — how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."

I used to interpret that passage as simply meaning that I, as an unmarried woman, could love God in a special way by virtue of not having the distractions of marriage. After all, grace builds on nature, so it would make sense for me to develop my love of God based upon the state in which He put me.

Yesterday, it occurred to me for the first time that Paul was actually instructing the married to go against their nature, to put God more fully as the focal point of their love.

In that case, it seems that the reverse of the saint's advice might be true as well. Perhaps my relationship with God is deficient because I am loving him only as an unmarried woman would love him. Perhaps, then, I might love Him better if I lived "as though" I had a husband.

What would that mean in practice? Thinking about that made me reflect on the way I imagine I would love God if I were married. How would my love be different than it is now?

Well, I would be grateful. I'm sure I would be more grateful than I am now. I would thank God every day for my husband, and for my kids if I had any.

So, in some sense, I realized, in my unmarried state, I am withholding a certain kind of love from God. I am holding back on a certain level of gratitude because I believe God does not yet deserve it, because He has not given me my heart's desire.

One of the operative phrases in the 1 Corinthians passage is that "the time is short." The time of my life is indeed short in the space of eternity. It seems a waste to effectively limit my love for God — to keep some of it in reserve for experiences that I may or may not have.

I see now that the message our culture gives single women and men that they can "have it all" — telling them they can experience the fullness of life through materialistic indulgences rather than marriage and family — is based, like all heresies, on a grain of truth.

We are truly made, whether single or married, to have it all — to "choose everything," as did St. Therese of Lisieux. But the way that we are called to enjoy life's blessings is through understanding what it is exactly that we have in our storehouse — that is, what we are capable of giving back to God. That means understanding that, as long as we have breath, we are not lacking in any spiritual riches to offer Him. Any perceived lack is from our perspective, not His.

It is far easier for me to write this than to understand it and incorporate it into my life, but I find it worth contemplating as the year draws to a close.

Raped women must abort, says Sunni Islamic council

From today's Melbourne Herald-Sun:

Al-Azhar, Sunni Islam's highest seat of learning, has said any woman pregnant by rape must abort the baby immediately to maintain "social stability".

"A raped woman must terminate the pregnancy immediately upon learning of the pregnancy if a trusted doctor gives her clearance for the abortion,'' the Islamic Research Council of the Cairo-based institution said.

This would ensure "social stability", it said.

The independent Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights said two women were raped every hour in this country of 76 million.

Many factors contributed to the increase in sexual harassment including rising unemployment, the huge cost of marriage and the fact that sex outside marriage was forbidden, experts said.

Egyptian law banned abortion except on the grounds of "necessity", which included instances when a woman's life or health was in danger or in cases of fetal abnormality.

Not exactly a "pro-choice" sentiment, is it?

Planned Parenthood's Web site offers a powerful response by the Rev. Peter Laarman, executive director, Progressive Christians Uniting, who says, "Unfortunately, today’s theocrats ... can’t seem to live with the idea of a religiously neutral public square."

Oops, hold on a sec — sorry about that, my mistake. On second glance, Laarman made his statement back in March, well before the Islamic Research Council's statement,and he actually said, "Unfortunately, today’s theocrats — and here I mean specifically the Christian Right — can’t seem to live with the idea of a religiously neutral public square" (emphasis mine).

But surely Planned Parenthood believes that there is a danger to choice from "theocrats" other than Christians? Surely, it will issue a swift response to the Islamic Research Council's statement, reminding its supporters that a forced "choice" for abortion is truly no choice?

I'm waiting ...

No surprise there

"Sex education failing to halt pregnancy" — Telegraph (U.K.), December 30

Quote of the day

"Around the English-speaking world, the hottest publishing phenomenon this past year seemed to be books preaching atheism. Christopher Hitchens' book about 'how religion poisons everything' was excerpted in these pages and provoked a vigorous response. Mr. Hitchens' argument -- echoed with moderately less vehemence in other best-selling books from the likes of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris -- was that the world would be better off without religion, confining itself to the data of science and the coolness of reason.

"It is not an entirely new argument. Scientific data and rigourous logic tell us a great deal about the world we live in, and we who live in it. Yet there is a perennial temptation for some to insist that what they know is all that is to be known. In our time, 'secular fundamentalists,' as the Archbishop of Quebec called them, have made this error. Every age of history has its fundamentalists, both sacred and profane, who wish to close off paths of knowledge and discovery.

"There are many things about which the tools of natural science have nothing to tell us. A microscope is of little use in discovering the purpose of life. Even the most powerful telescope brings us no closer to understanding why there is something, rather than nothing -- the oldest of philosophical questions. And the most sophisticated medical imaging cannot tell us about those matters of the heart that bring joy and affliction: love, loneliness, serenity, suffering. A society that has no place for the supernatural, the metaphysical and, yes, the religious, is closing itself off from the most profound questions. There has to be room for the things of God.

"The Christian claim about Christmas is startling: That God has chosen to reveal himself by coming as one of us. He did not send us another learned philosophy, or a more powerful research tool. The great scholar Saint Ambrose gave us the famous principle: Non in dialectica complacuit Deo salvum facere populum suum -- It did not please God to save his people by means of logic. Rather, he sent his son.

"Moreover, he came as a baby. Just as a mother with a tiny baby draws people to her side, so too Christians are drawn at Christmas to the nativity scenes, with little children peering at the one in swaddling clothes lying in the manger. There was no room for him at the inn, but God knew that a baby will always make room for himself. In every culture, at every time, the baby comes as a sign of hope and an occasion of love. Even the unexpected child -- and who could be more unexpected that the son of a virgin? -- finds a place, and usually, a welcome.

"It would be a hostile culture which has no room for the child. The child brings with him questions about life and love, about his origin and destiny, and a culture closed to those ultimate questions would be hostile to the human drama too."

— From "Room for God," the Christmas editorial in Canada's National Post

The 411 on NFP

Reader Neil, who works for the Westchester County, N.Y., Journal News, sends word that his employer just published an article that looks to be the most detailed and accurate overview of Natural Family Planning one is likely to find in a mainstream newspaper.

While I'm not happy to see promoters of the practice piggybacking onto the "green" craze (it is, after all, some of the "greens" who are angling for forced population control), the article has some beautiful quotes from couples who say NFP brought them greater intimacy:

David Toder, who grew up in a Reform Jewish family in Scarsdale, also argues that the Catholic connotations are secondary to the benefits of practicing environmentally friendly parenting that strengthens a couple's emotional bond.

"Contraception puts a barrier between the couple," he said. "With NFP, you have to work together and trust each other. And, there's a cyclical relationship - a dating and a honeymoon - and that adds to the spice of life and the appreciation you have, and your relationship is well-rounded."

Lump in my throat

[See "UPDATE" below.]

I wish I had some good news to report, especially since many of you have written me with prayers and encouragement since I announced that my job ended two weeks before Christmas.

Today I have some news that is rather shocking.

For more than a decade, I've had a thyroid nodule. It was biopsied 10 years ago and the results said it was benign.

I had it biopsied for a second time a few weeks ago and today my doctor gave me the results: "suspicious for papillary carcinoma."

Nobody in my family has ever had anything like this so young, to my knowledge. (That is, assuming the pathologist's suspicion proves true, which I won't know 'til after at least half my thyroid's removed — more on that in a moment.) I'm 39 years old, nonsmoker and don't do drugs, drink to excess, or eat red meat. This is apparently just one of those things that happens.

My doctor recommends I have a half-thyroidectomy and get a frozen sample checked for cancer while I'm still on the operating table. If it tests positive, then the surgeons will remove the rest of my thyroid as well.

He says I should get this done within the next three months. Well, at least, if I get it done soon, I won't miss work. And I am continuing to pay my health insurance from my previous job, so that should cover it.

As you can see, I am a bit in shock. At the same time, having two friends who had full thyroidectomies — both while in their 30s, I think — I know that it is the sort of operation from which people recover very quickly and get on with a healthy life.

The 30-year cure rate, my doctor informs me — meaning the odds that cancer, if found, will not return in 30 years — is 98 percent, which is about as good as it gets, I think.

So, thank you very much for your prayers, which I still need. My main prayer needs remain the same — peace, patience, and discernment — and my main concern remains that I find and accept the right kind of full-time employment as soon as possible. (The right kind is whichever kind is God's will for me, which is why I need discernment.) The thyroid problem is a concern, but compared to getting back to full-time work, it is more like a bump (or lump) in the road.

If you or anyone you know has had a thyroidectomy and lived happily or near-happily ever after, please let me know in the comments. Would rather not hear any horror stories!

Please know that I read every e-mail that I receive and appreciate your prayers and encouragement very much. Thank you.

UPDATE, 12/28/07, 9:39 a.m.: I'm feeling much better today than I was when I wrote the above yesterday morning, when I had just learned the news from the doctor. Your encouraging comments and prayers, especially those of you who have written to tell me of your own or your loved ones' successful thyroid surgeries, have helped me enormously — thank you! Although I'm not looking forward to the operation (which I'm trying to schedule for January 29), I feel less distressed about it now.

Moreover, the circumstances couldn't be better. I'm truly surrounded by kind, helpful, and loving people, and am assured of the best possible medical care. My doctor, who will be performing the surgery, is excellent, and several family members have offered to look after me during my recovery. I'll be in the hospital only one night, and will be out of commission for less than a week, though I'll have to wear a scarf for a while.

(I know, I know; me in a scarf? Who woulda thunk it? Even I cracked up when the doctor said, "You can give a talk a week after the operation — just wear a scarf.")

As I was walking downtown yesterday after reading the first few comments and e-mail responses to this post, I smiled at the sight of a T-shirt hanging from a street vendor's display. It bore the slogan, "Too BLESSED to be STRESSED!"

I was so preoccupied pondering how true the slogan was, I probably passed up some nice scarves.

Heart of the city

Yesterday, I capped off a lovely Christmas visit catching up with dear friends in NYC with a trip to see my favorite statue — the beautifully restored Sacred Heart image behind the Church of St. Michael on West 33rd Street between Ninth and Tenth avenues. The photo above is how it looked (as best my cell phone could capture it), blessing the block.

When I first noticed the statue, which was a landmark of my daily commute when I last worked in the city, it was in deteriorating condition and had lost its right hand to vandals (twice, in fact — the second time, the hand was put into storage after having been left dangling virtually by a thread).

It was restored last year and rededicated in June — appropriately, the month of the Sacred Heart. Vandals' past persistence necessitated the addition of a fiberglass frame, but the statue shines nonetheless.

The next two photos how it looked in early May of last year, after the restoration began but before the hand and frame were added. Sans frame, it appeared in bolder relief against the backdrop of the street. Still, I know that, were it not for the protection, it would not be in such perfect shape today.

And here's the best photo I have of the statue, taken June 12, 2006, just after the restoration. The verse on the wall is Matthew 11:28: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Annunciation

Immersed in silence and calm of soul
To Her an angel did come,
And pouring forth unheard of praise
Asked Her to bear the Son.

Confirmed in single love avowed
The world then held its breath,
As from Her lips the words went forth
That broke the chains of death.

And Heaven then came rushing down
To Her who knelt alone,
That all on earth may one day rise
To His eternal home.

On that day a song began
Never more to cease
In honor of the only one
With God always at peace.

— Father Sharbel Francis Mary. Used by permission.

I know Father Sharbel's work is more of a Feast of the Annunciation poem than a Christmas poem, but it's so beautiful that I couldn't wait to share it. Merry Christmas!

Thank you

Many thanks to those who have offered prayers for me following yesterday's announcement. I am writing back to each reader who has written to me with support since then, but wanted to post this to thank anyone who's put in a prayer for me who has not written, as I felt very prayed-for at Mass today.

(As with the announcement, am closing the comments, but appreciate your e-mails very much.)

Father knows jest

The scene: a D.C. luncheon earlier today, reuniting the visiting Father C. John McCloskey with locals who miss him from his days directing the CIC, converts, spiritual directees, and other friends.

Woman, to Father C. John: "You're on YouTube? What are you doing there?"

Father C. John [in perfect Buster Keaton deadpan]: "Air guitar. Mostly Byrds and Yardbirds."

Me [corpsing with laughter, finally catching my breath]: "Yeah, like 'Jesus Is Just Alright.'"

That made the priest laugh, I'm proud to say.

Here's what he really does on YouTube:



More videos here.

Yo-yo mamas

The Sisters from the Georgetown Visitation Monastery provide a glimpse of the Franciscan University of Steubenville's Vocations Fair:



If there is something cuter than a nun with a yo-yo, I don't know what it is.

Tome for Christmas

Thanks to the good folks at Patum Peperium for inviting me to contribute a list of my favorite reads of 2007 to their Great Christmas Books Series.

Announcement

As of December 11, I am no longer affiliated with the Cardinal Newman Society, for which I was the first-ever director of its Love and Responsibility Program. I have waited to report this news out of respect for the society, which has not yet made a public announcement. The society let me know today that I was free to make an announcement on my blog.

Cardinal Newman Society president Patrick Reilly wrote me a reference which reads in part:

"Dawn has a clear calling to write, speak and engage others on the most important issues. ... With much enthusiasm and at some personal cost, Dawn moved to the Washington, D.C., area to take on a new program that seemed a perfect fit for her interests, talents, and skills. She performed admirably, but in conforming to the organization's mission, we felt compelled to take the program in a direction that is less suited to Dawn's calling. She feels compelled to find the position that gives her the freedom to excel, and I fully support that."

I am thankful that the society gave me the opportunity to do outreach to college students, faculty, and supporters of Catholic colleges' identity. That outreach included producing public events promoting chastity and the culture of life, such as the Sisters of Life's first-ever on-campus volunteer training, the "Modest Proposals" seminar at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, and my lecture at St. Paul's Cathedral in Worcester (a counter-event to the Planned Parenthood-sponsored teen-pregnancy conference at the College of the Holy Cross). It also included writing and editing, including my essay "10½ Reasons to Be Chaste," which appeared in InsideCatholic.

I would be grateful for your prayers at this transitional time of my life. The season is not without its blessings: I have already acquired some consulting work for pro-life and pro-family organizations, and there are some full-time opportunities that sound promising. In addition, my expanded leisure time enables me to do something I've wanted to do since arriving in D.C.: volunteer for the Catholic Information Center, for which I am planning and promoting special events on and around the date of the March for Life (details to be announced after Christmas). However, even with these hopeful signs, it is stressful to be making major life decisions during a year when I have already moved houses and jobs, and when my closest friends are hundreds of miles away.

The graces that I need most right now and am requesting in my prayers are peace, patience, and discernment.

I am closing the comments to this post, again out of respect for the society. If you would like to contact me, please feel free to write me at dawneden -at- gmail.com (replacing the -at- with an atsign) or through my feedback form.

Thanks so much to those of you who read this blog every day and leave comments, including very much those who may not always agree with me but take part in the online dialogue anyway. Your support means more to me than I can say.

'It is time to welcome the Presence'

Brother James Brent O.P. offers a beautiful reflection on the fourth Sunday of Advent,

Father knows best

Many thanks to Father M of Patum Peperium, a Diocese of Arlington (Va.) priest, for including The Thrill of the Chaste on his Christmas reading list.

My next task is to add my reading list to Patum Peperium — had to get through the latest spate of "Wuz"-es first.

Tour of the chaste

Thanks very much to those who have written to inquire about my 2008 tour dates — all one of you! Since, here at the Dawn Patrol, We Play Your Requests, following are my confirmed speaking dates for the year so far. I'll be speaking about my book, The Thrill of the Chaste, and the joy that goes beyond pleasure.

My bookings are through the Ambassador Agency.

January 21

Talk on "Chastity: An Alternative Lifestyle," Arlington Diocese Theology on Tap at Pat Troy's, Alexandria, Va., 7:30 p.m., free.

January 24

Holy Name Catholic Church, Beech Grove, Ind., 7 p.m., free.

February 12

Legatus chapter meeting, Wilmington, Del., private event.

February 29

St. Frances Cabrini Catholic Church young-adult dinner, Spring Hill, Fla., 6:30 p.m.

March 7-9

Church of the Holy Communion's Parish Lenten Retreat, Hendersonville, N.C.

March 29

Pre-Cana Day, Cathedral of St. Patrick, Norwich, Conn.

April 19

Connecticut Christian Singles Network seminar, details TBA, 10 a.m.

May 15

Seattle Chesterton Society, details TBA.

Pending (not yet confirmed, or details not yet available): George Washington University (Feb. 18), London, Ontario, high school tour (April), Alaska tour (May), more Seattle dates (May).

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On at Amazon.com.

'Choice on Earth'

Jeff Miller, aka The Curt Jester, offers truthful alternatives to Planned Parenthood's "Choice on Earth" holiday cards.

Jeff observes that "the question is exactly what holiday are these cards for in the first place":

Christmas with the celebration of the birth of our savior is obviously not it. They see a pregnant young mother as a target and not something to rejoice in. The miracle related during Hanukkah with the traditional Jews defeating secularist Jews when Judaism had been outlawed by Antiochus IV Epiphanes does not really fit into a holiday they would be happy about. The made-up of holiday of Kwanzaa doesn't fit the bill considering the historic roots of Planned Parenthood and their view on blacks that extends to the present day with a concentration of their clinics being in poorer black neighborhoods. Well how about the secular holiday of Christmas where the overriding message is "Family is important." Somehow abortion and contraception is not really family friendly. If only they would start making those dime-a-dozen holiday TV movies with the message "Preventing family is important" then PP would have a match.

Ode to joy

"Yes, joy enters into the heart of those who place themselves at the service of the least and the poor. In those who love in this way God takes up his abode and the soul is in joy. If, however, happiness is made an idol, the wrong road is taken and it is truly difficult to find Jesus. This, unfortunately, is the proposal of the cultures that put individual happiness in the place of God; it is a mentality that finds its emblematic effect in the pursuit of pleasure at all costs, in the spread of drug use as an escape, like a refuge in artificial paradises, which subsequently show themselves to be completely illusory."

— Pope Benedict XVI, "On Gaudete Sunday"

My beau and Darrow

Re the 27th installment of "Wuz," Kevin Walsh reminds me that my man Chesterton — whose writings opened the door to my receiving faith — embarrassed Darrow in a 1931 New York City debate. The American Chesterton Society's Quotemeister has the story, including this gem:

"When something went wrong with the microphone, Darrow sat back until it could be fixed. Whereupon G.K.C. jumped up and carried on in his natural voice, 'Science you see is not infallible!'"

Quote of the day

"In 50 years, the sexual pendulum in Britain has swung from one extreme to the other, from an era in which nice girls didn't until after they were married, to one in which teenage abortions are drearily routine and the Government - like some deranged hippy mum - is wheedling 14-year-olds to please 'be responsible' and go on the Pill.

"The 1950s philosophy was pinned in place by shame, and a reluctance to discuss sex at all. There were dark whispers around unmarried mothers, and desperate panic in single women who fell pregnant. There were hushed-up backstreet abortions, and hurried adoptions, and the cruel denial of children born out of wedlock for decades to come.

"I have no desire to go back to those days, but it seems to me that young people now are being fed an even more complicated set of lies."

— Jenny McCartney, "Why our teenage girls get lost," in tomorrow's UK Telegraph

Advent of chastity

"Scripture and Christian tradition emphasize that Jesus was born of a virgin to underscore the fact that he had no human father and also to teach an important truth, namely, that in order for something sublime to be born there must, first, be a proper chastity, a proper time of waiting, a season of advent. Why?

"The answer lies in properly understanding chastity. Chastity is not, first of all, something to do with sex. Chastity has to do with how we experience reality in general, all experience. To be chaste is to have proper reverence - towards God, towards each other, towards nature, towards ourselves, towards reality in general, and towards sex.

"Lack of chastity is irreverence, in any area of life, sex included. And reverence is a lot about proper waiting. We can see this by looking at its opposite: To lack chastity, to be irreverent, is to be impatient, selfish, callous, immature, undisciplined, or boorish in any way so that our actions deprive someone else of his or her full uniqueness, dignity, and preciousness. And we do this every time we short-circuit waiting.

Thus, it is understandable why the prime analogate for chastity is proper reverence in the area of sex. Sex, because it so deeply affects the soul, speaks most loudly about chastity or lack of it. ... We violate chastity in sex whenever there is prematurity, unfair pressure, subtle manipulation, crass force, taking without giving, posturing an intimacy we don’t mean, lack of respect for previous commitments, disregard for the wider relationships of family and community, or failure to respect long-range happiness and health. ...

"Chastity is about proper waiting and waiting is about patience in carrying the tensions and frustrations we suffer as we live the unfinished symphony that constitutes our lives."

— Ron Rolheiser, from his December 9 column, "Advent — A Time to Learn How to Wait."

Thanks to James Prindiville for the tip.

Methodist group addresses 'sexual brokenness'

 The Institute on Religion and Democracy reports on a United Methodist Church minstry, "Transforming Congregations," whose motto is "Equipping the Church to Model Sanctified Sexuality.”

While the ministry's approach speaks a very different language from the one I favor, Pope John Paul's theology of the body, it's encouraging to see an effort to engage churches in helping people heal from the damage caused by the misuse of the gift of human sexuality.

Merry Christmas from New Jersey

The Smithereens just released their first Christmas album.

Judging by the song samples on the above-linked site, the album is as secular as they come, but there are some fun surprises, including covers of the Who's "Christmas" song from "Tommy" and the Beatles rarity "Christmas Time Is Here Again."


Most impressive is that the Smithereens sound every bit as good as (and probably better than) I remember them from when I first saw them many Christmases ago at Greenwich Village's Bottom Line — December 7, 1984, to be exact. (I was a 16-year-old with a Brian Jones haircut, right, but passed for 21.) I can't think of any other still-extant band that's kept up its signature sound for so long and so well.

The album is also available from Smithereens guitarist Jim Babjak's online store.

Abortionist brags he rarely washes hands

Kudos to Washington Times blogger Robert Stacy McCain for linking to both the video clip of abortionist Albert Hodari telling of his "license to lie" (featured on this blog last month) and a newly available available video of Hodari's entire speech to Wayne State University Medical Students for Choice.

McCain's blog entry notes that about 12 minutes into the video, made available by Students for Life, Dr. Hodari speaks about how little he washed between abortions because it chafed his hands.

UPDATE: Christina of Real Choice comments: "To be fair, I listened to the whole thing and he said he doesn't do a five minute scrub any more. Though he also said he no longer wears a mask which means if he coughs or sneezes he's doing it right over the instrument tray."

'How to Fill the Void Within'

This charming clip by YouTube director Shelley464 goes out to my sister. I found it while searching for videos of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen:



There is real love and profound truth in this tale of a young woman's helping her down-in-the-dumps sister find her "happy face." My own sister did something similar for me when I was suffering from depression. When depression is overwhelming, having a dedicated friend or family member, who can get you out of bed and into doing things you love, trumps everything that therapy and medication could possibly accomplish.

(And of course, Kerri's Sheen impression is priceless.)

IM that 'I am'

Am I the only blog reader who was unaware until today that the new slang for prayer is "knee mail"? I love it!

Trading spaces

Praying the fourth Glorious Mystery of the rosary yesterday, contemplating the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, body and soul, into heaven, I recalled a point from Pope John Paul II's Mulieris Dignitatem (emphasis mine),

The passage from the Letter to the Ephesians which we have been considering enables us to think of a special kind of "prophetism" that belongs to women in their femininity. The analogy of the Bridegroom and the Bride speaks of the love with which every human being - man and woman - is loved by God in Christ. But in the context of the biblical analogy and the text's interior logic, it is precisely the woman - the bride - who manifests this truth to everyone. This "prophetic" character of women in their femininity finds its highest expression in the Virgin Mother of God. She emphasizes, in the fullest and most direct way, the intimate linking of the order of love - which enters the world of human persons through a Woman - with the Holy Spirit. At the Annunciation Mary hears the words: "The Holy Spirit will come upon you" (Lk 1:35).

It is a beautiful to think that being created a woman enables me to manifest to the world, in a special way, the truth of what it means to be loved by God in Christ.

At the moment I contemplated that passage, the Assumption became in my mind, in the simplest and most elegant way, a symbol of how I am to fully accept God's love — something that is hard for me to do.

I realized that Mary opened up her body and soul to receive the Kingdom of God — which may be taken as being "Christ himself," according to the Catechism — and made a home for it in the depths of her being. And so, likewise, at the end of her earthly life, the Kingdom of God opened up to receive her.

It reminds me of what Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen said, and I'm sure others said it before him, to the effect that the real action that takes place when we receive the Eucharist is not so much that we absorb Jesus, but rather that we are absorbed into Him. But, for Him to receive us, we have to first receive Him fully. That is where I need to contemplate the Blessed Mother's example.

Commie dearest

New York radio host Ron Kuby, who went off the air this week after eight years, makes a convincing argument in Newsday as to why the end of the "Curtis [Sliwa] and Kuby" show is a loss even for those who disagree with his opinions.

I admit to having a soft spot for the ultraliberal civil-liberties lawyer, who gave me a sympathetic quote for my 2004 New York Post op-ed opposing my alma mater's banning Handel's "Messiah." (He also inspired my [far-from-complete] spiritual autobiographical series "How I Became the Catholic I Wuz.")

Kuby is right on the mark when he explains why listeners took to him:

As an avowed communist, atheist and civil rights activist who is pro-choice and anti-war, it would take me a while to win the respect and affection of the Rush Limbaugh-Sean Hannity fans who made up much of the WABC audience. From the start, I decided not to mimic from the left the nasty, contentless name-calling of right-wing talkers.

No matter how loathsome one finds President George W. Bush, calling him a war criminal over and over neither entertains nor edifies. Likening America to Nazi Germany is the verbal equivalent of flag-burning; it so enrages the audience, they will not think about the legitimate points you are trying to make.

Thoughtful, logical explanations of my views - words forming sentences and sentences becoming paragraphs, always making clear what my sources were and why I believed them - would over time win the respect of listeners, even when they disagreed with my conclusions.

I wish him all the best.

Thanks to Kevin Walsh for the tip.

'Saur spot

Kevin Walsh investigates a plesiosaur sighting in Brooklyn.

Beyond the blue orison

A male friend who likes to discuss philosophical questions asked me yesterday if I believe that single people who hope for a spouse should pray for God to make them ready for marriage.

I used to pray for such readiness — and was doing so at the time that I wrote The Thrill of the Chaste, as I mention in that book — but I don't anymore.

Instead, as I told my friend, I believe it's more important simply to pray to become more holy — to ask God for all the graces I need to grow in my walk with Him. Anything that I do to grow in love, humility, wisdom, and understanding (most of all love) will prepare me for marriage.

Conversely, although there's nothing wrong with wanting to be ready for marriage, if I make that my goal in prayer, it becomes all too easy to fall into the self-centeredness that is the greatest cause of unhappiness in the unmarried. (As causes of unhappiness go, it is greater even than loneliness — for loneliness, however it may be thrust upon me by circumstance, can thrive only when I am determined to define myself as deprived of something I deserve.)

The reason for this goes back to C.S. Lewis's argument for putting "first things" over secondary ones:

"[E]very preference of a small good to a great, or partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice was made. Apparently the world is made that way. ... You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first. From which it would follow that the question, What things are first? is of concern not only to philosophers but everyone."

Today I found in this month's Magnificat a quote from the Venerable John Henry Newman that sums it up beautifully (emphasis mine):

"There is another reason why God alone is happiness of our souls, to which I wish to direct attention. The contemplation of him, and nothing but it, is able fully to open and relieve the mind, to unlock, occupy, and fix our affections. We may indeed love things created with great intenseness, but such affection, when disjoined from the love of the Creator, is like a stream running in a narrow channel, impetuous, vehement, turbid. The heart runs out, as it were, only at one door; it is not an expanding of the whole man. Created natures cannot open us, or elicit the ten thousand senses which belong to us, and through which we really live. None but the presence of our Maker can enter us; for to none besides can the whole heart in all its thought and feelings be unlocked and subjected. 'Behold,' he says, 'I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him,and him with me.' 'God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, and your hearts.' 'God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.' It is this feeling of simple and absolute confidence and communion which soothes and satisfies those to whom it is vouchsafed."

Prayer request

In addition to Jen Stewart (see yesterday's entry), another Dawn Patrol reader and commenter needs prayer today — Josephine Kelly, who has commented in the past as "josephine m-o-6" (the abbreviation stands for "mother of six"). Her husband's 19-year-old brother was killed and the brother's twin seriously injured in a traffic accident last week (see news story). Please pray for all the Kelly family.

Prayer request

Please pray for fellow blogger Jen Stewart's father. Jen put up a post today asking for prayer for him, as he is having serious medical problems.

What's your Roe IQ?

Take the Roe vs. Wade IQ test. I got 11 out of 12, putting me in the 99th percentile compared to others who have taken the test. The question I missed was the one with the quote from a Supreme Court justice.

Kathleen Parker on women's need for more than latex 'protection'

"Speaking to a packed room of mostly women, Grossman noted that while some in the audience had attended college during the free-love days, the world is far more dangerous now. Today there are more than two-dozen sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) -- 15 million new cases each year -- some of which are incurable.

"The consequences are worse for young women, says Grossman. In her psychiatric practice, she has come to believe that women suffer more from sexual hook-ups than men do and wonders whether the hormone oxytocin is a factor. Oxytocin is released during childbirth and nursing to stimulate milk production and promote maternal attachment. It is also released during sexual activity for both men and women, hence the nickname 'love potion.'

"Feminists don't much like the oxytocin factor, given the explicit suggestion that men and women might be physically and emotionally different. But wouldn't a more truly feminist position seek to recognize those hormonal differences and promote protection for women from the kind of ignorance that causes them harm?"

— From "Dying to Date," Washington Post Writers Group syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker's article on "Modest Proposals," the seminar I co-organized last month (see video clips) at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington, D.C.

Teaching chastity by transforming schools' culture

"Once young people are seriously engaged in the project of becoming the best persons they can be, they will make progress in the virtues. But still more is required if we wish, as character educators, to maximize support for living a life of character. We must create supportive moral environments, ones that help to offset the negative influences of a world that is hostile to chastity and many of the other virtues we want to foster. In our homes, schools, churches, youth groups, and other environments that we can influence, we must do everything we can to create a culture of character that supports good character and chaste living.

"In our Smart & Good Schools vision, we call upon schools to take a leadership role in developing an 'ethical learning community.' The ethical learning community provides a culture of character that challenges its members to do and be their best. To create this culture of character, the school must model and foster virtues through every phase of school life: the example of adults, the relationships among peers, the handling of rules and discipline, the content of the curriculum, the rigor of academic standards, the resolution of conflict, the ethos of the total school environment, the conduct of sports and other co-curricular activities, and the treatment and involvement of parents. Every dimension of school life provides important opportunities for character development."

— State University of New York professor and developmental psychologist Thomas Lickona, from his must-read backgrounder on character-based sex-education, presented to the Second International Congress on Education in Life, Sex and Love, held in Manila, the Philippines, last month. He namechecks me and Wendy Shalit as "fresh new voices speaking up for sexual sanity."

Quote of the day

"Christ's way of acting, the Gospel of his words and deeds, is a consistent protest against whatever offends the dignity of women. Consequently, the women who are close to Christ discover themselves in the truth which he 'teaches' and 'does,' even when this truth concerns their 'sinfulness.' They feel 'liberated' by this truth, restored to themselves: they feel loved with 'eternal love,' with a love which finds direct expression in Christ himself."

— Pope John Paul II, "Mulieris Dignitatem" ("On the Dignity and Vocation of Women")

Getting to be a habit with me

I get into the picture with Sisters of Life (plus Sister Faustina of the Apostolic Sisters of St. John) following their successful Co-Worker (volunteer) training of Seton Hall and Princeton students that I organized at Seton Hall University November 17.

The 'O' WordA Guest Post by Drusilla

[The following post by my dear friend Drusilla appeared yesterday on her blog Heirs in Hope — many thanks to her for allowing me to reprint it. — Dawn]

As a child, I had a list of things I would begin to do and no longer do when I became an adult. It included going to bed when I pleased (my bedtime was so strict, during daylight savings time, I was in bed before the sun set), eating dessert instead of dinner (dessert was usually the most edible and certainly my favourite part of the meal) and never again wearing hand-me-down clothes (in eleven years, I was bought perhaps five or six new skirts or dresses). My list grew with each injustice that I suffered, real or perceived. Adulthood was the halcyonic time when I could do as I pleased, when there would be no one to answer to, no constraints. I imagined that then everything would make sense. That there would be no more bizarre requirements, no more cruel limitations. I looked forward to that time with great longing and hope, spent quite a lot of time imagining what I would do, how life would be on that glorious day.

I was not an obedient child. Though he excelled at issuing commands to anyone within earshot, I knew my foster father had no right to tell me what to do, knew that I had no responsibility to listen to him. He tried to compel me, actually spoke of “breaking me to his will.” I would not be broken. I did what I was told except when I found some way to avoid doing it. As I grew older, I found more and more ways to avoid doing what he wanted and did as I pleased as long as I could do so without provoking him to violence (and how often I failed at that). I was not at all obedient.

Obedience has two etymological roots: ob audire (to listen to, as well as the person from whom one hears or learns anything) and also, obsequor (to follow, to accommodate ones self to the will of, to give ones self up to). Without the totality of meaning inherent in both roots there can be no obedience. There must be someone who in some way extends the invitation, “Follow me!” and, if I am to be true to myself, all I can do is walk the path he sets before me; I must eagerly desire to learn from him, must wholly give myself over to him. Obedience is the way we actually live out love. Obedience is love. Obedience is relationship.

My foster father did not love me nor I him. He tried to possess me, to own me. I could not be owned. I struggled to survive and finally escaped him with my life and most of my sanity intact but without much experience of obedience, without much experience of relationship, without much experience of love. I am still endeavoring to learn now what I did not learn as a child. Certainly I’m not the most selfish person around. In fact, there are those who will insist that I’m not terribly selfish at all. Even so, I struggle with obedience, struggle with relationship, struggle with love.

And I am not unique. So many of my contemporaries were deprived as I was. Many of them could tell their own stories of abuse. Many others were simply never invited, never had the opportunity to give themselves over to someone because no one asked. Others would tell different stories but ultimately, all our stories attest to the fact that many, many of us learned to cringe away from rather than follow after on light, joyful feet, that many, many of us believe that obedience is doing as we are told.

But now we have grown up and there are fewer and fewer people who tell us what to do and we are left free to do as we please, free to fulfill every desire we have listed, free to be single, free to be alone. We seek relationship as long as it doesn’t require the “o” word. But obedience is not optional. Every relationship we enter involves listening to, learning from, following, giving ourselves over to – requires obedience. And we simply cannot be fully human without it. Were that not so, Jesus would never have been obedient to his parents, never have “bec[o]me obedient unto death.” He followed after us, gave himself up to us so we could follow after, give ourselves up to him.

The “o” word is difficult to write about: I’ve been working on this piece since I made my last post. And though I’ve had a some interference from health and work, that hasn’t been enough to explain such a lengthy delay. But I knew I must delve into the “o” word early on, no matter how hard the struggle. Since obedience is essential to being fully human, we cannot be open to marriage, open to any sort of consecrated state, without it. If we are to fulfill our vocation to love, we must love today; we cannot avoid obedience now with plans to pick it up once married or otherwise consecrated.

Once again I find I haven’t got all the answers, find that even after much time delving and thinking and praying and conversing, I’ve got little more than a few reflections that may or may not be useful. One thing I have come to see these past weeks is that obedience requires I rip up the list of things I will and will not do. Maintaining that inventory is tempting but means that I am still looking forward to the day when I can do as I please, still limiting obedience to the minimum. But limiting myself to no more than is absolutely necessary limits my ability to give myself over to someone, someone to whom I want to respond with eager joy as he extends the invitation, “Follow me.”

* It has been pointed out to me that marriage is a consecrated relationship.

For more of Drusilla's writings, visit her blog, Heirs in Hope.

A generation lost in Spice

Fay Weldon has a brilliant witty and self-effacing article in today's Daily Mail that seems to have escaped from the pages of National Review Online — "How the Spice Girls have killed feminism, subverted morality and embarassed us all":

It all seemed so empowering at the time: the idea that girls should take charge of their own sexuality.

But did anyone stop to think what would happen next?

Now, with the dubious privilege of hindsight, we have the answer.

For a start, we are now living in the Age of Easy Couplings.

What chance did formal sex education have when faced with the catchy lyrics - written by men, of course - that told young girls to indulge in such things as "weekend love" and encouraged "playing games"? What it did of course was to separate love from sex.

The Spice Girls killed romance.

Their singable, suggestive lyrics took away the innocence of the playground - or at least what was left of it. And it's never coming back.

They turned difficult love into temporary sex, and reduced female aspiration to a series of consumer choices.

They turned little girls into paedophile bait, and in doing so they helped destroy our concept of childhood. ...

... I'm saddened for the feminist movement because Posh, Ginger, Sporty, Baby and Scary were once meant to be Girl Power role models - independent, sexy, high achievers. And now look at them.

There's a feminist country-and-western song by Deanna Carter, "Did I shave my legs for this?" in which a young wife heads for the door, tired of her couch-potato husband.

Similarly, faced with what has become of the Spice Girls, I am inclined to say "Did I take off my wedding ring for this?" - which I did, back in the Seventies, out of fellow feeling for the way any woman over 30 was made to feel inferior if she didn't have one.

All those old gestures seem pointless in retrospect.

The inheritance has been squandered.

Read the full article.

Thanks to Guillermo Bustamante for the tip.

Bride goes before the Fall

My recent desire to understand how being created a woman can enable me to love God and my neighbor in a special way prompted me to reread a popular article by Mary Beth Bonacci on the question of whether there is single vocation.

Bonacci describes the vocations for women as either motherhood or consecration to Christ, which I think is a bit off; it's my understanding that marriage, with openness to children, is a vocation whether or not one has children. However, given her background in theology, I'm prepared to believe her when she writes that there is no officially recognized "single vocation" for women (or men) in the Catholic Church.

Her overall point is that one should not attempt to elevate unconsecrated singlehood to a vocation all its own. At the same time, she says singles can and should find fulfillment in giving — "to move outside of ourselves and to reach out in love to those around us."

Certainly, the importance of being outer-directed and growing in love of neighbor cannot be overstated, for both the married and the unmarried. However, even as I agree with Bonacci's conclusion, one of her premises disturbs me.

She writes:

"One of the consequences of sin in the world is that people who are called to marriage are having a harder time finding suitable partners. The pool is poisoned."

The pool is poisoned?

I can believe that fewer people are marrying these days, and that many of those who do are marrying later and divorcing more readily than people did in ages past — those are facts.

Likewise, faithful Christians in their 20s and 30s do have a lower chance of finding a spouse who is a regular churchgoer than they did in decades when the pews were fuller, and the odds decrease as one gets older.

But the idea that Bonacci proposes is that "God has called each and every one of us to either marriage or to consecrated religious life."

"Unfortunately," she adds, "the state of the world today has made it very difficult to fulfill that call – especially for those of us who believe we are called to marriage. Marriage requires a partner. And good, holy, committed partners who share our faith are hard to find these days."

In other words, she is saying that, since I am fairly certain that I was not called to consecrated religious life, I was predestined from the beginning of the world to be married ... until sin came along. The devil stole my hubby!

Seriously, I single out the error in this line of thinking because it is all too familiar to me. To say that "the pool is poisoned" is to plunge into the twin sins against hope, presumption and despair.

It's just another way of saying "society is to blame." Blame the homosexuals, blame the feminists, blame the secularists, blame the playboys and playgirls — most of all, as Bonacci says, blame free will and sin.

Blame anybody, it seems, but me. Personal responsibility, which is essential to fulfillment in every state of life, drops out of the equation. The die is cast and your fate is sealed. Your arms too short to box with Gloria Steinem.

The truth is, if God wanted me to be married, He could make my husband-to-be fall out of the sky (with a working parachute, please). The fact that He hasn't, and that it is possible my desire to be married may not be fulfilled, should cause me to take increasing responsibility for growing in faith and virtue, rather than waiting for someone with whom to grow. It should give me a greater impetus to become more loving to all, as Bonacci rightly advises, and resist the temptation to be what she calls a "sad sack."

It is precisely because the unmarried are, as Bonacci notes, already vulnerable to self-centeredness that hyperbole like "the pool is poisoned" is counterproductive. However well-intentioned, it effectively only serves to add an extra dose of smugness and cynicism to the single state.

Let's just do away with the pool metaphor altogether, shall we? Let it fall by the wayside along with other aquatic dating metaphors that sin against hope, like Martha Reeves and the Vandellas' claim that there are "too many fish in the sea."

If I must think in terms of the single life, or life itself, as being trapped in a body of water, I would rather remember, as I noted in The Thrill of the Chaste (borrowing from G.K. Chesterton), the true nature of Christian ichthi is to swim against the current.

"Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known."— Psalm 77:19

The feminine mistake

During my retreat last weekend among the Benedictine monks at St. Anselm's Abbey, I realized during prayer that I need to gain an understanding of how being created a woman enables me to love God and my fellow human beings in a special way.

I shared my thoughts yesterday over the phone with my friend Steve Kellmeyer, author of Sex and the Sacred City, which is an excellent introduction to the theology of the body. I told him I realized more than ever why I react with a visceral distaste to the public images projected by many Christian women's fellowship groups. Although I may like the women who take part in such groups and approve of their activities and goals, I'm put off by the way they present their mission in reactive terms. They either try to appropriate feminist ideology in favor of a "true feminism" (a term I realize echoes Pope John Paul II's well-intentioned call for "a 'new feminism'"), or they attempt to counter it with a reactionary return to 19th-century models of fa-de-la, flowers-and-lace femininity. (I'm thinking of certain exhortations of Alice von Hildebrand with regard to the latter, though I agree with her on many fundamentals.)

As I said to Steve, in a strange way, I almost agree with the radicals who claim that sex — or, as they call it, "gender" — is a social construct. They have themselves in fact reconstructed sex roles in such a manner that many of the best minds of the Church seem unable to define womanhood outside of feminist terms. Christian women's fellowships are left trying to frame feminine identity according to a relatively recent ideal — be it that of the 1890s, the 1950s, or a trendy modern vision — when they should be doing what Pope John Paul II urged in his theology of the body: discovering woman's true identity "as it was in the beginning."

Steve observed that in that sense, the radicals' claims are like every heresy. At their root is a grain of truth, grossly overemphasized and taken out of its proper perspective. The truth is that man and woman's original identities — who the sexes were in God's image — were marred in the Fall. Since then, society has at various times attempted to reconstruct them, but they remain in some sense artificial — unless they can be reattached to their original meaning and purpose. Jesus necessarily points the way as the new Adam, as does the one whom He called "Woman" to signify her identity as the new Eve.

To find an answer to the question of what it meant to be a woman as it was in the beginning, the first thing on my reading list is Pope John Paul II's "On the Dignity and Vocation of Women" (Mulieris Dignitatem), which I am reading today. If you're familiar with it, I would be grateful for your thoughts in the comments section below.

Judgment Dei

Had to share this charming story from my friend Brian Finnerty, U.S. communications director of Opus Dei — a numerary (celibate) member who lives in one of the prelature's residences.

Brian writes:

I was picked for jury duty today.

One of the amusing things in the process was filling out the questionnaire and replying to the question "Occupations and relationship to you of other adults in your household."

Answer: lawyer, doctor, academic, academic, priest, priest, money manager, grad student, educator — fellow Opus Dei members.

I was watching one of the lawyers look at my form, and his eyes seemed to open wide as he read it.

But when questioning me both lawyers choose to steer clear of asking me about Opus Dei. And, somehow, I got picked to be on the panel.

Homily anomaly

I felt embarrassed last week when, during my visit to a reading group at Northern Virginia's Our Lady of Hope to discuss The Thrill of the Chaste, Father Bryan Belli, the church's parochial vicar, asked me for advice on preaching about chastity.

As I explained to the priest sheepishly, although he didn't realize it, he was in effect calling me out on a generalization that I usually make when I speak on chastity to college students or young adults; I note that "it's not a word you normally hear from the pulpit" —

"But you're right," Father Belli said. "It's not."

Duly encouraged, I thought for a moment and offered a few points that could pique parishioners' interest — without, one hopes, throwing them into fits of pique (though some things can't be helped). In particular, these may help them understand that chastity goes beyond mere abstinence-'til-marriage:

• Chastity is for everyone. The Catechism, says "all the baptized are called to chastity .... according to their particular states in life" (section 2348).
  
  A homily about chastity for lay people should explain that there is unmarried chastity and married chastity. It should explain that "chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being" (2337). Part of that does mean reserving sex for marriage, but it also calls both the married and the unmarried to integrity and authenticity in their personal relationships. It requires shaping all one's relationships in "charity" — that is, love. "Charity is the form of all the virtues. Under its influence, chastity appears as a school of the gift of the person. Self-mastery is ordered to the gift of self. Chastity leads him who practices it to become a witness to his neighbor of God's fidelity and loving kindness" (2346). In marriage, chastity is inextricably linked to complete self-giving to one's spouse, and to appreciating one's spouse as a gift. It means having true, loving respect for him or her as a human being with dignity, as opposed to an object or a thing to which one is entitled.



• To parents, it should be stressed that the greatest gift you can give your children are parents who love each other. This is connected to chastity because, in my view, too many parents want their children taught about chastity but are unwilling to work on their own relationships so that they are modeling chastity — as charity — for one another. As with charity, chastity begins at home, and the most important ways that it is conveyed to children is in the parents' relationship. Parents need to take the time to show their love to one another and invest in their relationship — even if it sometimes means spending a bit more one-on-one time with each other and less time with their kids. The time they do spend with their children will be more valuable for it.



• Everyone is called to spiritual parenthood. I first learned about spiritual parenthood in Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen's Three to Get Married, but the concept's roots run deep in Church teachings, and it is a fundamental part of Pope John Paul II's theology of the body. As Dr. David Delaney of the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign's Institute of Catholic Thought writes,

  John Paul says that, fundamentally, all men are created to be fathers and women to be mothers. Our vocation in this regard is also our uniqueness, in the end. Even if we do not become biological parents, we still are called to be fruitful and multiply others as spiritual children in Christ. Teachers do this by begetting spiritual children in an intellectual manner. But they and everyone else are called to live a life of holy witness such that others see and live the truth because of their example. We are charged with giving others less spiritually mature than we the benefit of our journey and acquired wisdom (even if we do not particularly see ourselves has having much of the latter). Spiritual parenthood is not optional. It is something that everyone is called to. It is an important way that we give ourselves to others which in return completes and fulfills us. God will judge us individually, but he saves us together. That is the reason He created a Church. We are called to grow in love and holiness as a family.

  I would stress a point made by Sheen that parents of biological children are not exempt from the duty to have spiritual children. As an unmarried woman, it can seem like all the pressure is on single, childless people to be spiritually generous, while parents only have to take care of their kids. It encourages me to see that the Church actually teaches that a married couple's fruitfulness is likewise not intended to be limited to the fruit of their bodies; their love should overflow into all their relationships. For the unmarried, the concept of spiritual parenthood accentuates the importance of "redeeming the time" that God gives one to be single — using it to grow in love of God and one's fellow man.

For more (and better) advice, see the comments to "Altar call."

Filioque and all that

Catholic seminarian Dennis Schenkel dreams of East/West reunion ... to the tune of a They Might Be Giants song.

It would go well with Nick Alexander's "Nicene Creed" (which borrows the tune of "Dancing Queen").