To keep up with the virgin kick this blog has taken lately — and to acknowledge that I was a pretty awkward virgin myself (though I at least had an excuse; no master's degree), here is a song I wrote and sang about my sorry state of dumped-itude back in 1990: "You Did Me Wrong." All the vocals are mine; all the instruments are played by Joe Ward.
It is embarrassing sharing this tune with the world, but I am consoled by the fact that, for all its derivativeness and corniness, the recording is — if I do say so myself — terribly catchy. I remember hearing the finished demo and thinking about how, whatever people might say about me after I die, at least my gravestone could conceivably read, "She wrote a catchy song."
Note to audiophiles: Sorry about the dropouts. If you'd like a cleaner version, e-mail me.
UPDATE: Jessica Valenti of NARAL's BushvChoice, who likes to give me free publicity, invites her readers to get snarky about my tune. While I think Valenti realizes I wrote it pre-chastity (chastity and virginity not necessarily going together, as Jane's "29-Year-Old Virgin" could attest), her readers seem to believe I was even then some sort of Wendy Shalit-in-training. One of them comments:
... I am still friends with about 1/2 of the people that I've slept with. In fact, I talk to a few of them on a regular basis; we're friends.I didn't know that Dennis Miller was ghostwriting comments for Feministing.
And none of them "Did Me Wrong" because I made the choice to sleep with all of them and am willing to take responsibility for any outcome. I hate the idea that just because a woman slept with a lying bastard, she's suddenly the victim. Get off the cross, we need the wood to build a Planned Parenthood.