Friday, September 14, 2007

' I entered through the open door of his waiting Heart'
A guest post by Therese on healing after abortion

[Dear Readers - The following was sent to me by reader Therese after I invited post-abortive readers to submit guest posts. - Dawn]

Dawn, I don't know about a guest post. My abortion story is the same as every post-abortive mother could tell...

The delayed periods, the dread, the positive pregnancy test; the admonition by friends and family: Do something about it, being told by our family's minister (this is really a quote), "It's just a blob of tissue at this point"; obtaining the cost of airfare and "the procedure" from my estranged spouse; flying to NYC one day and home the next; relieved it was over; realizing a few years later that I'd really killed my own daughter, the dread again.

Some women react to this realization by lashing out at others. Some by joining groups to "support" them in their decision. Some turn their self-hatred inward, on themselves, rather than outward. Some live lives of quiet desperation, some not so quiet.

The only thing that saved me was Jesus in his body on earth, the Catholic Church. The sacraments that Jesus instituted 2,000 years ago were in place and waiting for me when the reality of what had happened dawned on me. I entered through the open door of his waiting Heart and still receive his Body and Blood in Communion with absolute awe.

But this isn't a lived-happily-ever-after story because, in doing post-abortive counseling, I've seen that Mercy is the hardest thing for most people, including me.

These are the roadblocks to it:

1. I'm too bad.
2. Divine Mercy is too easy.
3. I don't need that religion or holy stuff.
4. My abortion was just a choice, not a sin.
5. I had no choice, I had to do it.

The common thread in all these statements is, basically, "I'm too proud to accept forgiveness & mercy. I refuse to become a little child." Fortunately, God knows that we are really, really little children and can only take a few baby steps at a time usually. So he allows us time, time and more time to begin to see and live Reality. We don't have to, and can't possibly, get it all at once.

I guess its just important for everyone who has been involved in abortion to know that if we reject Divine Mercy, for whatever reason, we reject what Jesus did for us on the Cross and we end up condemning ourselves and compounding our sin. That would be a sad way indeed to celebrate today's feastday, the Triumph of the Cross!