Planned Parenthood Announces Day of Prayer Against Parental Notification Laws

A guest satire by HENRIETTA G. TAVISH
Special to The Dawn Patrol

AURORA, ILL, September 19 -- Following up on its "pro-faith, pro-family" Day of Prayer in support of an Aurora abortion clinic, Planned Parenthood has announced a similar vigil to beseech God to help abolish laws requiring that parents be notified before a clinic kills their unborn grandchildren.

"Our timeless and cherished faith traditions inform us that the sacred decision to bear a child should be between an unemancipated minor, her God and an indifferent twenty-something abortion clinic 'counselor,' " said Rev. May I. Killem. "While we deeply respect parents' rights to share their differing faith perspectives with their daughters, we pray that they, too, will respect our spiritual conviction that the decision to abort be made without their knowledge or input."

The abortion provider's Council of Clergy also asked God to give ministers and statutory rapists the strength to deliver young women across state lines in the event they lived in a jurisdiction whose legislators had not yet recognized the divine wisdom of barring parents from the family planning process.

The Council closed with a candlelit memorial to the millions of girls who know that their parents will just "kill" them if they come home pregnant. A special prayer was offered for Jennifer Harris, whose parents "killed" her when she was caught smoking, "killed" her when she totaled the family car, and then "killed" her yet again when she became pregnant. "On behalf of Planned Parenthood," they asked, "we pray for an end to the senseless killing of our children."