Typo Mars Planned Parenthood Press Release
A guest satire by HENRIETTA G. TAVISH
Special to The Dawn Patrol
AURORA, ILL, September 19 --Due to a clerical error, a Planned Parenthood press release neglected to note that its proposed Aurora clinic performs abortions – embarrassing the organization at a time it is embroiled in litigation over whether it will be able to satisfy the town's dire need for the popular procedure.
The press release stated that "[e]very day our health center is not open, more women go without Pap tests, birth control supplies, and breast exams" but did not make a single mention of abortion. The omission enraged local residents, nearly all of whom are clamoring for a facility to kill the unborn so that they will not be raised by the poor, teenagers, or their own grandchildren.
The regional Planned Parenthood President, Steve Trombley, said that he "could not fathom" how the word "abortion" was left off the press release. "From the beginning, we've been trying to assure Aurora that it will be the abortion capital of the world, but then this happens" he said. "We're proud of what we do, and hopefully in the future we'll be able to get the word out that we perform abortions, abortion, abortions."
The press release fiasco marks the second time the clinic's progress has been stalled by a typographical error. A similar mistake was made on an building permit application earlier this year, which neglected to reveal that the building would be occupied by the nation's largest abortion provider.