Florida readers of the newspaper for which I work will see the headline I wrote for a photo of the pope at Castel Gandolfo, his summer residence: "A Man's Rome Is His Castle."

Thankfully, I will be over 1,000 miles out of spitball-throwing distance.

Also, if I had composed a headline for a review of this show—which I didn't—I would have written simply, "Hamalot."

Roman Catholic seminarian Dennis Schenkel has the best headline of the past week that I didn't write. (Note that the story's been updated.