Most interesting is this tidbit, which, if true, sheds some light on the students in the publicly funded Catholic school district are learning:
in catholic schools we do not get taught that contreception is not evil but rather it "saves" embryos from abortion.
Even if one puts aside the double negative, the idea that students are taught "rather" that contraception "'saves' embryos" is disturbing. It recalls the Canadian bishops' infamous Winnepeg Statement dissenting from "Humanae Vitae"— which pro-life leaders recently urged Canada's bishops to retract.
More information on the campaign to retract the Winnipeg Statement is available from The Rosarium.
I wrote that, of the eight area high schools where I spoke on chastity last week, they were the "toughest crowd";
to back up my contention, I published a photo of students reacting to my talk, and
I commentedgenerally on how the school district's girls compete to wear the shortest kilts.
As the HCC students were particularly inflamed by my publishing the photo of them, I have removed the photo. My comments about the students will remain, and I would like to share some of those comments with you, in the hope that you will pray for these students.
[UPDATE, 5/1/08: The Religious Life coordinator for the London, Ontario, school board has apologized to me for the students' comments. One commenter, "hccstudent," has also apologized, and I have removed one comment of hers from the list below and from the comments section at her request.]
First, we have a commenter who calls himself "Jay . from HCC BIATCH !" I suspect "Jay" is the student with the middle name "Jayy" who started a Facebook group demanding that I never return to Canada. (I am refraining from publishing his full name. The group has since been deleted from Facebook—presumably by the site's administrators, to whom I complained of harassment.)
On the Facebook page, "Jayy" described the group's mission thusly (all deletions are mine):
The crazy b-tch wrote a blog about the girls having "too short of kilts." But deep down, she knows there f-ckin hot.
"Jay" left two comments on my blog entry that mentioned Holy Cross, both of which threatened violence.
And I know many girls from HCC who where their skirts short, and i mean short, and their all virgins, you dont know us, lay on your death bed and think about it :)
Here are some other comments from HCC students:
"hccstudent" wrote in part: I'm sorry, but your talk was inneffective and boring as hell. I was hopeful when you said you were a rock journalist, which is what I aspire to be, but you were a total letdown. Even the teachers said so. Also, we didn't laugh because we were uncomfortable, but because the outdated slang you were using (v-card? Is it 1998?) was ridiculous. Also, how dare you comment on our school system? Who cares about the kilts if we read 1984 and know that freedom to express ourselves is everything. FYI, the teachers do tell us to roll or skirts down, we just don't listen. ... You said you'd missed your chance to have kids? Good. You would only f-ck them up. You said we are your kids? Um, if I was your kid I'd have to medicate myself. That was MY two-minutes hate. Look it up, buttercup. Sincerely, an outraged student.
(The advice that I look up the "two-minutes hate" is ironic. When I was in high school, I protested the state-imposed "moment of silence" by calling it a "one-minute hate.")
"P-ssed off HCC student" wrote: are you bloody kidding me?! your sitting here judging us when dawn you should go take a LONG look in the mirror!! you are freaking crazy!!! how r u gunna say god gave u back your "v-card" back from prayer! ur crazy lady u lost it when the 1st night a guy had sex with you!! and then u go and say i bet a few of u out there still have your "v card" good guess, doesnt take rocket science too think your in a catholic high school.... and we belive to save ourself for marriage... ur flipping crazy!!! you need to find yourslef a new day job, and buy a " how to loose your studder in 10 days" tape or book, cause listen to you was killer,id rather pull my hair out one by one!! you know there was even teachers laughin at how crazy you sound? were the toughest group of people, no just other schools didnt laugh at you until you left the school! we had the balls to laugh at your crazy bull crap! now what do u think of HCC? hm? and posting those photos on ur blog, i sure hope you asked those girls before you posted it, how about we post your photo on a website and warn schools if you see this lady and she wants to talk to ur school LOCK YOUR DOORS now im done, thanks you!
"Outraged in HCC" wrote: sup dawn, k so im a little upset with you. First of all when you were here, and giving your presentation, you were not doing a good job but i tried to give you some respect, because im a GOOD PERSON . But now that you go on the internet and bash our school and how we dress wow isnt that a little seventh grade! your suppose to be forty! and you act like your a child and im really glad you do not have them! WOW we are not the only catholic high school that has kilts and wears them short because wearing them long is UGLY, can you not let us enjoy our cellulite free legs while we have them. And wow we are allowd to be immature, we are in high school, that is our job! If you were having sex so much in high school and college you were acting a little TOO mature for your age. ANd you didnt use your common sence. So your little "slip ups" that you talked about on the today show, wow that really doesnt inspire us to stay chaste. SO way to be an inspiration. Way to stereotype our whole school by what a few students were doing and wearing. wow dawn as if! PS. epidermis buffet? Seriously? EWW ON YOU!
"twootherhccstudents" wrote in part: I'm a catholic and i absolutely love having sex.. does it mean im a bad person? No, i think that chastity should be up to the person, I believe in making my own decisions on my lifestyle, based on what i feel is right its called cultural relativism.
(If HCC students are learning the gospel of "cultural relativism" there, I think more prayers are in order.)
"HCC" wrote: Dawn, you are UGLY and you stutter!!!! Get over it! You are a SLUT!! You're not a virgin! Face reality. PS- Just because we wear short skirts does not make us whores! Many of us are still virgins and wear short skirts! ALSO, a lot of us LOVE SEX!!!! So what?! You're just making us want to have sex more. So just shutup cuz no one cares about your life.
And then there's this backhanded mea culpa from "hccstudent", she of the "two-minutes hate": I was the first HCC commenter and I want to say that I may have been a little out of line with some of my comments and personally attacking you (Dawn) was uncalled for and immature and I realize that. So, sorry, I guess. I got a little worked up.
The reason I was worked up was because you had no right to comment on our school. As a commenter above said, we bleed black and gold. I, personally am an atheist and a hardcore liberal, but I could not imagine going to any other school but Holy Cross because of the students, teachers and rest of the community. I think it upset me because YOU came into OUR school, and judged us not on who we were, but how we compared to others and to YOUR values.
So to every HCC student who commented, will comment, or has voiced an opinion on the subject in the last two days, you guys rock my socks. Go Centurions!
Sincerely, hccstudent.
AND ANOTHER THING: Not every HCC student was as vitriolic as the ones cited above. Some, such as Annie, attempted to be constructive.
The main issues cited by Annie and other constructive critics were (1) in giving a complimentary "shout-out" to virgins, I was unfairly presuming the school's culture was hostile to virginity, or that there were fewer virgins present than there actually were; (2) I made a point of not denying the pleasure aspect of sex; and (3) I spoke about "secondary virginity" from the standpoint of renewal in Christ. (Some commenters, in referring to my talk, use the word "slut." For the record, I have never, ever, used that term or any similarly pejorative language in a talk, nor would I.)
It was not my intent to be unfairly presumptuous, and for that I have apologized to Annie.
My comment on pleasure was specifically intended to stress that chastity is not a choice one makes because one hates sex or because one is ignorant of the pleasure it brings. Rather, as I said, the pleasure in sin is the devil's way of distracting one from what we lose out on by pursuing such physical pleasure—namely, joy. I paraphrased C.S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters, which says all the devil can do "is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which [God] has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden." I have often made this point about pleasure vs. joy in my writings.
Perhaps the mere mention of pleasure in sex was too titillating for HCC's students, but my message was quite clear. I followed it up immediately by stating that "all sex outside marriage is emotionally and physically damaging," using the same words as I did at this talk in Syracuse:
I make no apologies for my description of how those who have lost their virginity may find renewal in Christ. Here is a video of that portion of my talk, from a lecture in Indiana.
UPDATE, 5/3/08:LifeSiteNews picked up the story. Although they did not interview me, I agree with the reporters' assessment. They add the following information:
Ontario's Catholic teachers are all forced to belong to a union that has for many years strongly opposed the Church's moral teachings. The union intervened in a legal action on behalf of a student that successfully forced his Catholic school to allow him to bring his homosexual lover to the school prom.
The province's bishops have not taken strong actions to bring the union in line. The main school religion programs, approved by the bishops, have received much criticism for their weak presentation of Catholic teaching and excessive emphasis on "social justice" issues.
Despite these negative factors, some Ontario Catholic schools, thanks to faithful School Boards, teachers, principles and parents, as well as some bishops who have accepted there are serious problems in the schools they must personally address, do manage to give authentic Catholic moral and spiritual formation to their students.
The emotional highlight of my Ontario high-school tour was meeting T., a student at Catholic Central High who, when I got to the part of my talk where I mention growing up Jewish, shouted a hearty, "Mazel tov!"
Canadian Catholic schools, owing in part to their state funding and their reputation for discipline, have a large non-Catholic population, so it did not surprise me to learn that T. is a fellow member of the tribe. After listening to me speak to Grades 11 and 12, she paid me the great honor of skipping her sixth-period study time in the library to stay and hear me address the Grades 9 and 10s.
When I finished my second talk, she told me a bit about herself. I was impressed with her generous heart, and especially that she helps her aunt care for her Bubbeh (grandmother), whom. if I remember correctly, she said has Alzheimer's. It was touching to hear her say that she is learning Hebrew so that she can understand what her Bubbeh, who no longer recognizes her, is saying when she yells at her. I complimented her on doing the mitzvah of caring for her grandmother, and told her she would never regret having shown such love to her Bubbeh.
Since she was open to what I had to say and interested in my life, I shared a bit about my conversion, telling her about St. Maximilian Kolbe, who volunteered to die in place of a condemned prisoner at Auschwitz, and giving her a St. Maximilian prayer card that included a medal. But I also encouraged her to take pride in her Jewish heritage, as she does, and urged her to never let anyone make her feel inferior because of it. While those who are now Christian were worshiping the likes of Zeus, I said, her ancestors were worshipping the one true God.
The Grade 12s at Holy Cross—here reacting to my giving a shout-out to those who still had their V-card—were the toughest crowd.
Please pray for T. and for the other teens who approached me after I spoke at high schools this week. I don't envy teens' being that age and in that environment. High school was not a happy time for me. Seeing the way the Ontario girls competed to wear the shortest skirts reminded me of how the social pressure to conform could be unbearable. Thankfully, there were some in each school who had the courage to risk the teasing of their peers and tell me they appreciated what I shared with them.
Today, I gave more talks than I've ever given in one day—four talks at two high schools in London, Ontario. As I wrote earlier, this is my first-ever high-school tour, as I usually speak to noncaptive audiences.
The day went phenomenally well, and for that, I thank everyone who was with me and all the friends, family, and readers who were supporting me through prayer. Jason Evert's advice for chastity speakers is largely about getting "prayed up," and I didn't realize until this tour just how important that is. Speaking about Christian spirituality, and particularly sexuality, in a high school, one really does feel that it is a spiritual battle. To speak effectively and lovingly, help is required from all the angels and saints. On this trip, I have been blessed to have great prayer backup from members of one of the groups sponsoring my tour, London Area Right to Life Association.
Yesterday, the lay ministry leader [or "chaplain," as they call them here, though not ordained] at Regina Mundi, the first school where I spoke, gave me a box of about 40 string necklaces with wooden cross pendants, to distribute to students after my talks. Since I didn't have enough for all 2,500 students who heard me that day, I planned to give them just to those who came up to me after my talks.
Today, since only a handful of students had come up to me yesterday, I decided to announce to the students at the end of my first talk of the morning, at Mother Teresa Catholic Secondary School, that they could come up and receive wooden crosses from me while supplies lasted.
The school was not a particularly religious one as Catholic schools go; like all the Catholic schools here, they are state-funded and have a large non-Catholic population (perhaps 25% of the student body). Moreover, I am told that, of the Catholic students, only a minority go to Mass. Add to that the fact that the students come from the wealthiest area of the district, and that, as a vice principal told me, they have a (well deserved) reputation for wearing the shortest skirts, and I wasn't expecting the mob scene that occurred after I wrapped up my talk. I gave out all the crosses in a matter of seconds. One Grade 11 boy said endearingly, "Give me one of those sexy crosses!"
It wasn't just that they wanted freebies, either. The students had a strong devotional sense that was deeply touching, and I think surprised even the school staff and the talks' sponsors. As I walked out of the cafetorium following that first talk of the day, the chaplain approached me with four girls who wanted to know if I had any crosses left. I didn't, but I arranged to get them some prayer cards, which I did after one one of the sponsors made an emergency run to the local Catholic shop in time for my second talk at the school.
The prayer cards likewise flew away at the end of my second talk. A boy and girl who did not appear to be together cornered me after that one to talk more about chastity and I wound up digging in my purse to find my scapular medal for the girl and my Miraculous Medal for the boy. The girl was interested in making a kind of consecration to acknowledge her commitment to saving sex for marriage, so I suggested she buy a Brown Scapular from a Catholic shop and have her priest enroll her in the devotion, as chastity is a requirement for wearing the scapular. I also gave her the URL for Marytown, the Web site of the U.S. home of St. Maximilian Kolbe's Militia Immaculata, where she could learn about consecrating herself to Mary, and I gave her and the boy the URL for Evert's Pure Love Club as well. All along, I was kicking myself for not having thought of bringing Miraculous Medals as I had done when I was invited by Catholic groups to attend the University of Illinois' "Sex Out Loud" fair last year.
At every talk, I said a few words in support of the virgins in the audience—or, as I put it in one of my talks, the "intentional virgins" who were saving themselves for marriage. It was enormously affecting to see how someone would always cheer and wave when I would say I knew there were virgins present. The cheers were especially loud once I changed my wording—as I did in my second or third talk of the day—to say, "I want to give a shout-out to those of you who still have your V-card!"
I realize that language may sound shocking to readers who have not spent time in high schools. It shocks me. But the kids hear about sex all day from their peers who are putting forth the idea that everybody's doing it—a message that their schools' staff do not always attempt to dispel.
One school where I spoke yesterday, likewise Catholic and state-funded, had a display table on testicular cancer just inside the front door. Now, I realize it's important for young men to learn about such things—but it was disconcerting to walk into a Catholic school and be greeted with a sign shouting, "MY LEFT NUT."
Getting the students to see that not everybody was in fact doing it—and that some of their peers were actually proud of saving themselves—was exhilarating, as was the opportunity to share with all the students, virgins and nonvirgins, the truth about God's mercy and renewal in Christ.
* * *
The first time I can remember hearing the word "virgin" was when, at the age of 10, I was taken by my mother along with my sister and her friends to see the R-rated "Rocky Horror Picture Show"—a treat for my sister's Sweet 16 birthday. The MC for the "floor show" that accompanied the cult classic—where audience participation is the rule—asked if there were any "virgins" present—the universal term for those who have never seen the film.
I could not have imagined that nearly 30 years later, I would be standing in front of 750-odd teenagers telling them that virginity is the true rebellion—and hearing some of them cheer. It never ceases to amaze me how God is capable of taking the seemingly least godly experiences of my life and turning them into reminders of His saving grace.
This kind of apostolate is challenging, but it is so rewarding. I am so very thankful to the sponsors for giving me the opportunity to do this tour. Please keep up the prayers as I prepare for my third and last day of high-school talks before heading home.
* * *
How short were the skirts? Don't get me started. I can't say what it's like at Catholic schools in the States, but the state-funded schools here do not appear to police the uniforms, though at least one of the schools where I spoke is planning to tighten its restrictions in coming years (requiring girls to wear tights and dress shoes, and to pin their kilts). Honestly, these girls were walking around (and sitting on the floor) in hemlines that would make a Ziegfeld girl blush. It amazed me that the boys in the audience could pay any attention to me at all with the epidermis buffet going on all around them.
Having done four lectures on this, my first-ever day of high-school talks (having previously spoken almost exclusively to young adults), and afterward enjoying coffee with delightful locals, Chastity Gal is turning in early. I do have some stories I would like to share, but, with four more talks at area high schools scheduled for tomorrow (and three for Wednesday), most of them will have to wait 'til I get some rest.
For now, I'll note that the students seemed interested when I told them what Pope John Paul II called "the opposite of love." It's not hate, as some of them guessed when I asked them what they thought it would be, nor is it indifference. It's use.
"People sometimes use people because they hate them," I said. "But you don’t have to hate someone to use them. That’s why use is more dangerous than hate. You can use someone while fooling yourself into thinking you love them." That enabled me to lead into explaining how practicing chastity enables us to love truly and sacrificially, whether in friendship, marriage, or any other relationship.
I'd like to say thanks very much to those who responded to my request for prayers for me on this unusually intensive tour, and also to Jason Evert, whose online advice on "How to Give a Chastity Talk" to high-schoolers proved invaluable.
